Free You Are Mine by Jackie Ashenden Page B

wound around her chest like a rope pulling tight, making it difficult to breathe.
    Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, Eva stamped down the stairs that led to the sidewalk, the door to her building closing and locking automatically behind her. She was conscious of the sound, conscious too of the tension pulling even tighter as it did so. A primitive part of her wailed in terror as her retreat, her place of safety, was cut off.
    But she walked on regardless, heading straight toward the limo, looking neither right nor left.
    It wasn’t far. Only a few feet. Some days it felt like a journey of a hundred miles.
    I can’t do this … Watching your life get smaller and smaller while your fear gets bigger and bigger …
    She bared her teeth at the sound of Zac’s voice in her head. Stupid bastard. What did he know? She wasn’t scared. She wasn’t.
    Her driver, a woman hired by Zac who answered only to the name of Temple, got out and pulled open her door. Eva gave her a short, sharp nod, heading straight for the interior of the car.
    Only once she was inside, once Temple had closed the door with that reassuring, heavy “thunk,” did Eva feel the gripping tension begin to relax, the rope around her chest begin to ease, allowing her to breathe.
    She settled back, reaching for the blanket she kept folded on the warm leather of the seat and pulling it over her. Temple got in and immediately adjusted the heating the way Eva liked it, which was like a sauna.
    She gave Temple the address and waited a few moments for the heat to penetrate her chilled flesh.
    The car pulled away from the curb and into the flow of heavy New York traffic.
    Eva let out a breath. She liked her limo. It was a little bubble of safety and yet allowed her to see out at the same time, making her feel as if she was part of things. Sometimes she went out with no destination in mind, getting Temple to drive her around the city streets purely for the pleasure of watching everyone around her with things to do and lives to live.
    Zac had a car, but he often took the subway. Apparently to “gauge the mood of the city” or some such crap. She couldn’t imagine doing so herself, all those people pressing against her. It made her shudder to think about it.
    Which meant it was probably better she not think about it. Or him for that matter.
    Never catch up …
    Just like that, the tension was back, wrapping around her so tightly she felt suffocated. She tried to breathe through it, tried to calm herself with the techniques Zac had taught her over the years, but nothing seemed to work.
    He’s not here. You’re going to see someone who was at the house and Zac’s not going to be there with you.
    She stared out the window, at the buildings on either side, windows glittering in the sunlight, and concentrated on the roar of the traffic.
    It would be fine. She would have Alex and Katya.
    But they don’t know. They won’t understand. Not like he does …
    Her fingers twisted in the thick, dark blue cashmere blanket on her knees as she tried to keep her thoughts from careering out of control, tried to think logically.
    It was true that Alex was impatient like her, and his tendency was to enflame a situation, which wasn’t exactly helpful. Zac, on the other hand, was calm, measured. And his authority was so absolute people tended to do what he told them even before they realized they were doing it. He was polite, friendly when he wanted to be, and his approach complimented her own, more impatient and fiery style. They worked well together in other words. Something she wasn’t so sure would work with Alex.
    It’s not that. It just doesn’t “feel” right without him.
    She looked down at her hands, at the blanket scrunched up between her fingers.
    It didn’t seem to matter how logical her thoughts, how measured her thinking, she couldn’t shake the terrible