Free You Are Mine by Jackie Ashenden

I didn’t mean it?”
    Weren’t you only just thinking he wasn’t a man to make idle threats?
    â€œNo,” she said curtly, starting to get angry now. At herself and her reflexive need to tell him everything. And at him for the ultimatum he’d given her. “But I thought you’d want to know.”
    â€œSo now I know.”
    She looked down at her nails, at the short, bitten ends. “I need to go and talk to him.”
    â€œExcellent plan.”
    â€œAnd you’re not going to help me because I wouldn’t obey some stupid commands?”
    He said nothing.
    She tried again. “I thought friendship didn’t have a price.”
    â€œI’m a mercenary, Eva. Everything has a price.”
    â€œBut you’re not a mercenary anymore.”
    â€œI’m a businessman. It’s the same thing, only I’m not carrying a gun.”
    Frustration and anger curdled inside her, betrayal adding spice to the mix. “Prick.”
    â€œSo you’ve already said.”
    â€œIt’s emotional blackmail. You’re using our friendship to get me to do what you want.”
    â€œBut we don’t have a friendship, angel. What we have is codependency.”
    The words caught her unexpectedly, a sharp ache in her side. “That’s not true!”
    â€œFriendships are based on trust. And trust is the one thing we don’t have.”
    She didn’t know what to say to that since he was, of course, right. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I’m the only one with trust issues. You’re hardly an open book yourself.”
    He ignored that. “You know the price for my help, Eva,” he said calmly, in that impeccable British accent of his. “If you want it, you’ll have to pay.”
    Oh, but he didn’t understand. She couldn’t pay because there was no more trust to give. It had shattered the day her mother left, the pieces systematically crushed by her father and his junkie friends, the last remains of it burned to ashes while she’d been in the house.
    She had none left. Not for anyone.
    Eva swallowed, the heavy, thick thing in her throat making it difficult to breathe. “So that’s it. You’re not going to help at all?”
    â€œThe others perhaps. Not you.”
    No, she refused to be upset about it. Refused.
    â€œFine. I don’t need your help anyway,” she said recklessly.
    â€œI’m glad to hear it. Good luck.”
    She gritted her teeth. “So … when do you want to catch up again then?”
    A long silence.
    â€œNever,” Zac said, his tone completely expressionless. “We will never catch up again.”
    The statement was a punch to the chest, all the air rushing out of her. “What? What do you mean ‘never’?”
    â€œI told you I can’t go on like this.” His voice was insufferably, maddeningly gentle. “Being at your beck and call, and getting nothing back. I’ve already put up with it longer from you than I’d put up with it from anyone else. I’m not helping you and I’m not helping myself. I need to cut loose, angel. And that means for good.”
    There were fingers squeezing around her middle, an inexorable pressure. If they squeezed too hard, she would shatter. “So you’re … leaving? Just like that? What about Alex and Gabe? What about the club?”
    â€œI feel sure they’ll understand.”
    Bastard. Asshole. Prick.
    If he wanted to fucking leave, then let him fucking leave. She was getting sick of him and his protective bullshit anyway. She didn’t need it, didn’t want it.
    Yet a small, frightened part of her, the part she never acknowledged, shivered in distress.
    You can’t let him go. You can’t let him leave you.
    Eva crushed the thought flat. It was his choice. If he wanted to go, then she’d let him. And that was his damn fault if he didn’t end up liking it.
    An