Free Arsenic and Old Cake by Jacklyn Brady

married—” She broke off, suddenly confused. “I can’t believe I forgot to ask. When were you married?”
    I gave them the answer Gabriel and I had agreed on. “Yesterday afternoon.”
    “Just yesterday?” Primrose finally let go of our hands and clasped her own over her heart. “Isn’t that sweet?”
    The old basset hound scowled from one of us to the other. “And you’re just getting here today? You from out of town or something?”
    We’d prepared for that question, too. “No, we’re from right here in New Orleans,” Gabriel said. He leaned around Primrose and winked suggestively in my general direction. “We talked about checking in last night after the wedding, but frankly, it was just too far to drive. I didn’t want anything to get between me and my lovely bride.”
    That was his version of serious and subdued? He’d straight-up lied to me out there on the stairs. I looked him in the eye to let him know I was not amused. “Don’t make jokes, honey. These nice people might take you seriously.”
    Mr. Big regarded me steadily over the frames of his thick-lensed glasses. “You saying you didn’t want to enjoy your wedding night?”
    Heat rushed into my face, which made Gabriel’s eyes dance. “That’s not what she’s saying at all. We did enjoy it, didn’t we, chérie ? Very much.”
    “That,” I said firmly, “isn’t an appropriate topic of conversation.” And certainly not the topic I wanted to discuss. I smiled to take the sting out of my reprimand and said, “Let’s talk about something else.” Like whether they were harboring someone pretending to be our long-lost Monroe. But suddenly swinging the conversation in that direction without raising eyebrows would be next to impossible. Like it or not, I’d have to go with the flow and wait for an opportunity.
    Mr. Big looked almost disappointed, but he smiled and said, “The lady’s right, son. That’s the first thing you gotta learn about being married. The lady’s always right.”
    I shot a grin at Gabriel. “I think you should pay attention to him, sweetheart. It sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.”
    All the men laughed. Hyacinth rolled her eyes, and Primrose fluttered her hands at all of them. “Now, now y’all,” she said with a laugh. “Let’s not tease our guests. This is their first night with us. We don’t want to give them a bad impression.”
    The laughter died away, and nobody said anything for a moment. After a while, the basset hound cleared his throat. “What made you choose this place? This neighborhood isn’t your usual stomping grounds, is it?”
    I knew they’d be curious. My eyes flashed to Gabriel, but just then the cell phone in my pocket vibrated. I silenced it without looking at the screen. I didn’t care who was calling. This was not the time for an interruption. But both the question and the phone call made me nervous. Perspiration beaded on my nose and upper lip.
    Gabriel didn’t even blink. “You’re right. This isn’t our neighborhood,” he admitted easily. “We’re both too busy with work to get away for long, but we did want to disappear for a few days . . . if you know what I mean. Nobody will think to look for us here.”
    The big guy chuckled. “Smart thinking. You put work first your whole life, you end up nothing but sorry. Ask me how I know.”
    Hyacinth scowled at Mr. Big, but even so, the look she gave him was several degrees warmer than the frosty one she’d given us when we checked in earlier. “They don’t want to ask you, Dontae. Nobody wants to hear your stories tonight.”
    Primrose turned back to us with a smile that looked a little too bright. “These two squabble like brother and sister,” she chirped, “but they’re harmless. They’ve been friends forever.” She waved a hand toward the large man and said, “This here’s Dontae Thomas. He likes to grumble, so just tune him out if he gets started.”
    Not Monroe. Strike one.
    She motioned