Free The Intelligent Negotiator by Charles Craver Page A

interactions in ways that will diminish the capacity of these aggressors to adversely affect you. For example, when faced with sarcastic and belittling opponents, use the telephone toconduct your talks. When opponents begin to bother you with offensive tactics, you can indicate that you have other calls or other matters to take care of then break off discussions. You can then call such opponents back after you have calmed down. If particularly aggressive opponents try to intimidate you by invading your personal space (for example, sitting too close to you or standing over you) during in-person encounters, you can meet in a conference room or a dining room containing a large table and place your opponents on the opposite side of the table. This makes it difficult for your adversaries to invade your territory, since such behavior would be pathetically obvious and thus ineffective.
    When you’re engaged in conduct that has offended someone else and you know those people are terribly upset, acknowledge the other side’s feelings. Politely permit other parties to express their viewpoint without interruption. Such venting will allow those counterparts to say what they have to say in an environment that should diminish the intensity of the offense. When those persons have finished speaking, indicate that you have heard their message. It can also be helpful, when appropriate, for you to apologize for any conduct that may have contributed to the discomfort of your counterparts. There is no reason for you to accept the blame for circumstances over which you had no control, but suggesting you are sorry for the other person’s feelings or for the negative consequences suffered by him or her can effectively contribute to the healing process. Once distraught counterparts feel their emotions have been respected, they can more easily talk objectively about the actions they seek to correct the situation.
    S UMMARY P OINTS
     
Initial contact is the critical point for setting the tone for the entire negotiation.
Skilled negotiators create positive negotiation environments by personalizing the interaction.
If you are a Cooperator, be sure your openness is being reciprocated before you disclose too much information and expose yourself to exploitation by Adversaries who are being less forthright.
Attitudinal bargaining is effective when seeking to establish beneficial ground rules with especially aggressive counterparts.
When proficient negotiators are unable to eliminate offensive opponent behavior, they try to control the interaction in a way that minimizes the ability of their obstreperous adversaries to bother them.

C HAPTER 4

S TAGE O NE: T HE I NFORMATION E XCHANGE
    Y ou are now entering Stage One of the negotiation process: The Information Exchange. This is where you and your counterparts learn about what you have to exchange with one another. You’ll notice the shift as soon as questions about each party’s needs and goals replace the small talk of preliminary discussions.
    Even though the primary activity of this stage is to exchange information about what you want and why you want those items, Intelligent Negotiators recognize this as a prime opportunity to create new value, to expand the pie. Try not only to discover what your counterparts want to have, but also seek ways in which you might expand your areas of mutual interest. In this way you can generate joint gains. When you create new value, by expanding the overall economic pie to be divided up, all parties are better off; you and your counterparts can simultaneously enhance your respective interests.
    The Information Exchange occurs in two steps, through which you discover:
     
What are the subjects to be explored and divided?
What are your counterpart’s needs and interests underlying those topics?
    Once you know the answers to these questions, you can then determine the issues that can be addressed within the scope of your negotiations. Figure out the answer to number 1