Free Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits by Norma Jeanne Karlsson Page A

grownups. All the girls drew pictures of themselves, a husband and kids. Some of the boys drew the same thing as the girls; others drew themselves as firemen and doctors. I drew myself bigger (grownup) and alone. This freaked my teacher out and she sent me to the counselor’s office. They called my mother who assured them that I must not have understood the assignment (bitch). I haven’t changed much since then. I don’t want a husband, but I do want kids now. With my work in foster care and adoption I’ve come to be incredibly passionate about children, and would love to adopt or foster in a few years. Getting pregnant on my own…not so much.
    What the fuck was with Finn? I’ve known him for thirteen years and it’s never been anything but platonic with us. I woke up on our couch while some chick was going down on him in our townhouse during undergrad. I lived with him for three years, one of which he was in a serious relationship. Maybe the chicken I fed them at lunch was rotten because Kavy and Finn are both acting like Invasion of the Body Snatchers . I decide to shake it off and get out of the shower.
    I’m dressed in a cowl neck royal purple sweater with a wide tan leather belt around my slim waist. My tits look huge (are huge). I have on my favorite dark wash True Religion super skinny jeans that are like a second skin. My go-to, leather 3-inch heeled boots will finish it off perfectly. I’m bent over diffusing my hair when I see a pair of grey socked feet come into view. I turn off my blow-dryer and flip my head up to see who those feet belong to. Kavy.
    “Did you listen to everything earlier?” Kavy smirks at me. I smile coyly in return. These men are my family but we all have separate different relationships. Kavy knows my brain better than the others. I think that’s why he and I used to fight so much. I could play shit off with the other guys that I couldn’t with Kavy…still can’t.
    “You know I did. Why?” I flip my head down and return to diffusing. Kavy sits down on the edge of the tub and watches me while I do my hair. I can’t see his face but I know he’s thinking. This should be fun.
    Once I’m done, I flip my hair back up, fluffing and smoothing it with my fingers and a little product. It’s a good hair day in the Kelly house. I look at Kavy through his reflection in the mirror and start on my makeup.
    “If I knew I was gonna have an audience today I woulda put on a leotard and got out my baton!” I shimmy in the mirror and grin at Kavy. The corner of his mouth rises with a slight snort.
    “Finn was outta line earlier, Kid. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but I’ll sort him out. Don’t sweat it okay?”
    “I’m not.” I’m not.
    “You’re not?! Why the fuck not? I’m sweatin’ it! Are you sure you heard all the shit he said?” He’s freaked out. I smile at him in the mirror and put down my mascara. Face done. I turn and lean my butt against the Carrera marble vanity, crossing my ankles, my hands supporting me grasping the edge.
    “You’re all men. You guys have all gone through phases where you looked at me like I was what you wanted. I swear the first year at Stanford on Halloween I thought I was gonna have to tranq Cally. Sully actually drooled at me our first summer here. I mean, I saw him wipe his damn mouth with his sleeve after I got outta the pool. Kavy, two years ago you eye fucked me for half an hour at our Christmas party.” I arch my brow at him waiting for what he could come back with.
    “You’re fucking hot, Kid. Those things are gonna happen. We’re men and have moments but that’s all it is. We’re not ever gonna jeopardize our relationships with you over it…none of us would ever cross that line. But thirteen years later and I swear you look better today than you did at seventeen. No bullshit.”
    Bullshit!
    “What Finn said earlier was beyond teenage wet dreams. He was talkin’ future, serious future.” He shakes his head; obviously