Free Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

both dying laughing. We must look bat shit crazy.
    “Kid, you all right?” Sully asks in a “WTF” tone.
    “I’m fine, I’m fine,” I try to get control of my breathing. “We’re all good.” I look up at Kavy and he smiles my smile down at me.
    “Well that’s uh, good. Your tits look great in that bra by the way.” He’s staring now so I give a shimmy and a showgirl’s smile. Cally and Sully laugh at that and Finn punches Sully in the arm. I hook my thumbs into my jeans and start to pull them down as I walk to my bathroom.
    “I’m getting in the shower now gentleman, if you’ll excuse me.” They just watch me walk away as I step out of my jeans and kick them across the room before shutting the bathroom door.

“Fuck,” I hear Finn moan. “How do you three still live with her and keep your wits about you? I have a fuckin’ semi here.” I’m so listening in on this conversation.
    “Dude that’s fucked up,” Cally chides his brother. “Kid’s our sister. Yeah she’s blazin ’  hot and is constantly refilling my spank bank but that’s for private, not when she’s in the damn room.” That logic is baffling. I hear Sully and Kavy snicker at the brothers.
    “It was one thing when she was seventeen, in undergrad and we were all so fucked up over that night. But have you looked at her in, I don’t know, the last nine of the thirteen years she’s been with us? She just keeps gettin’ better! Have any of you dicks ever found anyone that can compare to her?” Finn is serious. I start to feel like I’m intruding here, but they’re talking about me so it’s okay, right? There’s no response to his question, just quiet. I start to think they left when I hear Sully.
    “Finn, look. We all know she’s God’s gift. Whoever gets to spend his life with her is gonna have to be some kind of fuckin’ saint to try and keep up with her. Are you sayin’ you want that job? You wanna cross that line with Kid?” My jaw is lying in my lap.
    “I didn’t say that, O’Sullivan. But just imagine her walkin ’  down the aisle with some dude we don’t know, tellin ’  you three to move out of her house, fillin ’  this house with his babies, holidays with her new family here. No more Chicago family with us.” I can feel a lump in my throat.
    “Thanks for that future therapy bill, Finn,” Kavy snarks. “Kid would never do half the shit you just said. We’re her family. She wouldn’t just stop a life with us to start one with someone else.”
    “You think her husband is gonna let your sorry ass sneak into bed with them at night, Kavanagh?” Finn is trying to make his point but he’s getting agitated.
    “If you knew Kid like we do, you’d know she doesn’t want to get married,” Kavy says pointedly. “She wants kids and says she’ll start adopting when she’s ready to pull back from the practice. I’m sure as shit not gettin’ married and I don’t think your brother, who can’t make it past three dates, is goin’ anywhere toward an altar. If O’Sullivan gets married he’ll be divorced in a week after he fucks the bridal party. So we’ll live here with her forever and raise her kids with her. I’d be lucky to live that life, Finn. So don’t knock it down like some trashy life she’s settling for.” I hear footsteps and a door slam. If I cried, I’d be sobbing like a baby right now.
    “You two know what I’m gettin’ at, don’t you? What Kav said is a nice dream but you know it’s not reality,” Finn pleads with Sully and Cally. No one answers him and I hear them all walk off.
    Holy shit that was intense. I get in the shower that’s been steaming up my bathroom for the last ten minutes. As I soak under the rain shower-head, I think back on the conversation I just heard. Kavy was right. I don’t want to get married. I have never been the girl to fantasize about the white dress and the perfect man. When I was in first grade we were asked to draw a picture of ourselves as