Free Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters by Jessica Valenti

been isolated from their friends and family, they may not have any support system left.
    ❂ Fear of increased violence/death: Most women who are killed by their partners are in the process of leaving or planning to leave. Many women know that if they try to leave and fail, the violent consequences could be lethal.
    ❂ Cultural/religious beliefs: Some women’s culture or religion tells them that divorce isn’t okay, or that violence is acceptable. They may fear being ostracized by their family and community.
    So again, not so simple. And I can’t emphasize this enough: We have to get beyond the idea that it’s our responsibility to not have violence done to us. We deserve to be safe in our relationships.

HARASSMENT
    You know you have a favorite street-harassment story. (And yeah, I know there’s harassment at work and such; we’ll get into that in another chapter.)
    The first time I saw a penis was when some random dude on a subway platform took his out and started running toward me with it. Charming, huh? Talk about a scarring experience. I just froze. Luckily, a train came into the station and he just got on like nothing had happened. Then there was the guy who told me my ass looked so good he wanted to eat his dinner off it. (You think that line ever worked?) Then, just recently, I walked past a young man in front of the New York City library and he leaned over and whispered, “I want to eat you” in my ear. I actually felt his breath on me—nasty.
    I’m sure you have your stories, too. We all do. For some reason (ahem, rape culture), guys think that they have the right to say anything to you. Or grab your ass. It’s the assumption that you’re there solely for them. One essay, “The Little Rapes, Sexual Harassment” by authors Andrea Medea and Kathleen Thompson, makes the connection between street harassment and rape. 10 They’re both intrusions into your personal space, your right to just be . Both harassment and rape are the results of a culture that teaches men that women exist solely for them, their desires.
WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU
    Too often, issues of violence against women are presented in a pretty universal way. The white woman being beat by
her no-good, drunk husband. It’s got “movie of the week” written all over it. What’s shown less often in the media (or anywhere else, for that matter) is violence in the lives of women who aren’t white, middle-class, straight gals. Obviously these issues affect all women, regardless of their race, class, and sexual orientation—but some women are affected disproportionately.
    For example, African American women are much less likely to report a rape. Native American women are most likely to be raped by a white offender. Sixty-one percent of female soldiers have said they have been sexually harassed in the army. Queer women are more likely to be attacked than straight women. Women on welfare are more likely to be victims of domestic violence.
    Race, class, sexual orientation—or even the kind of job or career a woman has—influence how violence affects her.
THE LAWS THAT MAKE IT BETTER, THE LAWS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO SCREAM
    It’s amazing to me how the United States can simultaneously have great and shitty laws concerning violence against women.
    Probably the most important piece of legislation is the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). It gives billions of dollars to help survivors of rape, intimate partner violence, and stalking. What’s weird is that more people don’t know about it. It passed in 1994 and was reauthorized in 2000, 2005, and 2006. This latest reauthorization extended VAWA
for five more years and increased funding—VAWA now allocates $3.9 billion to related state and federal programs. Impressive, right? Unfortunately, there are folks who actually want it done away with. Bush has tried to cut VAWA funding substantially (shocker, I know), and other organizations that call themselves “men’s rights activists” speak out