Free Far From Home by Megan Nugen Isbell

second before turning back to the three strangers who were sitting in his living room. 
    “You can go now,” he said abruptly.
    “We still have so much to talk about, Jesse,” Ms. Martel responded.
    “We don’t need to talk about anything else,” Jesse continued and I could tell he was trying to maintain control of his voice.
    “Please, Jesse.  I’m here to help,” Ms. Martel pleaded softly until Jesse cut her off.
    “Unless you can bring my dad back, I don’t need your help.  Please leave.” His voice was deep and serious and I saw Ms. Martel shift uncomfortably in her seat.  The two officers stood up a moment later, eventually followed by the social worker. 
    Jesse was staring down at the carpet as they started filing towards the front door. The officers left without looking back, wanting to leave just as badly as Jesse wanted them to, but Ms. Martel looked back as if she wanted to say something else, but didn’t and she followed the officers outside. 
    When the door closed, it echoed loudly, and I’d never felt more alone than I did at that moment.  Jesse was right next to me, but I knew he was really a million miles away.  I didn’t know what to say and I glanced out of the corner of my eye at him.  I saw a tear roll down his cheek and I watched as it splashed onto the floor.
    “I’m so sorry,” I finally said, my voice cracking.  I wrapped him in my arms and he started to tremble.  Softly at first, but then it transformed into an all-out uncontrollable sob.  As he shook, it was as if he was trying to purge himself of something.  He rocked in my arms and my blouse was soaked within seconds. 
    “No, no, no, no, no, no,” he whispered over and over, his face buried in my neck as he held onto me as if he would never let go.  I held him tightly, not knowing what I could do for him.  My heart was breaking as Jesse fell apart.  Jesse, the one I’d always looked to for strength, now clung to me and I didn’t know what I could do to help him as he continued mumbling a sea of no’s into my ear.  He wadded a clump of my hair into his fist and he kept pulling it with each no as if he were trying to mask the anger.   It hurt, but I didn’t dare tell him.  He needed me at that moment and I would do whatever I could for him.  “He can’t be gone.  There’s a mistake.  There’s gotta be a mistake.”  I knew he wasn’t talking to me and I felt my eyes fill with tears as he tried rationalizing the situation.  I blinked and the tears fell as I realized the impact this devastating news was going to have on Jesse.  It’d only ever been his dad and him.  He’d been abandoned by his mother.  There had never been anyone else and now there was no one.  I tried for a split second to put myself in his shoes, but I quickly banished the thought from my mind after it literally made my stomach turn.  That reaction had only been from a thought.  I still had a family who loved me and supported me.  In the blink of an eye, Jesse didn’t anymore and I started crying harder as I tried to figure out how I was going to help him through this. 
    His sobs eventually calmed and were replaced with long, deep breaths and an occasional shudder as he tried to get himself together.  When he finally pulled away from me, his face was a sloppy, wet mess.  The whites of his eyes had been replaced with red and I was pretty sure mine had been too. 
    “What do I do, Riley?” His voice was low and lost.
    He was looking to me for guidance and I paused not knowing what to say.  He needed me to help him and I didn’t know how.  I couldn’t let him know that though.  I had to be strong, just as he’d always been strong for me.  I knew we both needed help though.  Jesse and I may be eighteen, but we didn’t feel much like adults at the moment. 
    “I’m calling my mom.  She’ll know what to do,” I said softly as I held his hand to my lips, kissing each of his fingers. 
    Jesse didn’t