times, and when I asked her out I thought it was because I could like her. For the first two weeks things were actually pleasant, and easy, and it managed to numb the aftereffects of my fallout with Jade, but then small things started to show through the cracks, like the way Stella would scowl when Jade and I had even the most arbitrary conversation.
It wasn’t until I hesitated at the thought of sleeping with Stella or touching her in a remotely intimate way that being with her wasn’t the right thing. And yet, I’d stuck it out.
“B-but I love you,” she cried, stepping closer until she could wrap her arms around my waist. “Please, you can’t leave me. Jade doesn’t love you, but I do, and I know you could love me too, if you’d just try.” Her words came out in a mumbled rush, and while I knew it was a shitty thing to do to have led her on, it was over. I had to make Stella realize that.
“”I’m sorry,” I said, taking ahold of her arms and gently pushing her away. “This isn’t fair to either of us. I can’t be with you anymore.”
Stella’s expression remained blank for all of five seconds before it twisted into something resembling vengeance. It had always amazed me how she could flip so easily, and it had been too easy to ignore it when I’d rather not have been alone. Now it only troubled me.
“You’re a fool,” she spat, her voice shrill and irate. “She doesn’t love you, Reid,” - I looked away, hating that her words stung – “and you’re too infatuated with her to give me a chance. You’re going to regret this.”
She turned on her bare feet, and snatched her thick jumper, and tights before slipping on a pair of black boots and storming her way out. The front door opened, and slammed closed, the loud crack echoing through every space of the apartment.
I stared at the floor for a few minutes, and eventually sunk on to my bed in defeat. I felt completely sucked dry of everything – my fight, my emotion – and the way I saw it I only had two options. I could wallow in self-pity, or I could focus on the two things that I could count on – football, and school.
As easy as it would have been to choose the first option, wallowing just wasn’t my style.
** ** ** ** **
T he days that followed were long, cold, and almost unbearable. I’d become irritable, and intolerable, and ended up snapping at anyone I came into contact with, including my friends. I avoided the cafeteria because I didn’t want to see Jade, but also because I wasn’t in the mood for company. April meant no football training due to the wet, freezing weather, but I still found myself on the field and in the gym when I wasn’t attending my law classes.
It was only mid-afternoon, and I had my next class in two hours, so I headed down towards the empty football field intent on getting a run in. I might have been considered crazy for running in sixty-degree weather, but being out in the open, and on the field was the only thing that had brought me some kind of peace in the last week.
I zipped up my black U of B hoodie, stuck my earphones in and started running on the track. Lorde’s ‘Team’ started playing, and my feet started pounding the Tartan in perfect rhythm with the song. I did a few laps, and then increased my pace until my lungs burned, and all thoughts of Jade were silenced. When I reached the finish line, I slowed down, and stopped, resting my hands on my head while taking in large gulps of icy air.
I turned around, and scowled when I saw Dane leaning against the tunnel wall waiting for me. He had a grey beanie on, a grey U of B hoodie, and dark jeans with black combat boots. His arms were crossed over his chest, but when he saw me looking at him, he straightened and slowly started approaching me.
“Thought you might be out here,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets. His eyes probed my face but he knew as well as I did that he wouldn’t find anything. I’d perfected the art of