Free Irma Voth by Miriam Toews

Please tell her that when I see a beautiful fish I immediately have feelings for it. I wait until the last possible moment to cook it. And it’s that connection that makes the meal delicious.
    Marijke, I said, Diego wants you to know that he sometimes has feelings for beautiful fish before he eats them and that makes them taste better.
    Is he stoned? said Marijke.
    Hang on, I said. I spoke to Diego in Spanish. Yeah, I said, she understands. But she doesn’t want to drive withhim because he’s always drunk and she’s not prepared to die.
    Irma, said Diego, when I said we must all be prepared to die for this film, I didn’t mean in a car crash because of drunk driving. If that’s what you’re implying. Tell her I’ll talk to Alfredo about his drinking.
    Well, I said. And she’s worried about having anemia. She needs more leafy vegetables.
    We continued to wait in the field for rain. José and Diego played a game that involved slapping each other hard in the face. José seemed to be winning and Diego refused to give up. Why are they doing that? Aggie asked me.
    Elias heated up some sausages on a filthy grill over an open fire. I taught Marijke how to make a type of kissing sound that would keep the rattlesnakes away when she went into the trees to pee. José and Diego ended their strange game with an embrace. The sun scorched us. Diego tried to get Marijke to rehearse a kiss with Alfredo and eventually became so angry with Alfredo’s clunky attempts that he grabbed Marijke and did it himself. Is that so difficult? he asked Alfredo.
    Afterwards Marijke came up to me and asked me if I knew what she meant about Diego having the hots for her and I said yes. We sat on the ground and flipped through the pages of the script. It was clear that Diego had started to make things up along the way.
    Aggie came to sit with us and had a look at the script too, and I asked her what she thought. I don’t understand all the Spanish, it’s a bit majestic, I guess, she said. I likedthe offhanded way she neutered words that were meant to be powerful. Then all the men started yelling at each other about the new Mexican president and the fraudulent election. The Zócalo in Mexico City was filled with thousands and thousands of protesters. They’ve been there for a week already, said Diego, and they refuse to budge. He said he thought it made more sense to wait for rain in the desert than for justice in Mexico City.
    The clouds were moving around, bulging and darkening here and there but nothing else. It was getting late and I had to get Aggie home before my dad got back from the field or from town or wherever he was. She and I were still arguing. I told her that she was risking a lot by being out here with the film crew and that she was being foolish. I told her how much her brazenness bugged me because she didn’t have a clue what she was doing.
    Well, why are you here then, Irma? she said. You’re a hypocrite.
    I’m here because it’s a job and I have no money and no family. Nothing! I said. I have nothing to lose. You should go home and stay away from me.
    I was starting to sound like Jorge.
    You can’t tell me what to do, she said.
    You’re an idiot, I said. You have no idea.
    Most of the crew had fallen asleep on a tarp, surrounded by equipment and empty water bottles, and Diego and José were talking quietly in the truck. I knocked on the window.
    I need to get Aggie home, I said.
    Diego got out of the truck and stood there squintingup at the sky. We’ll give up on today, he said. I thought it was the rainy season now.
    It’s supposed to be, I said.
    Do you think God is punishing us? said Diego.
    Why, what did you do? I said. He told me he was just joking.
    Will you be able to make a meal for the crew when we get back? he said. A woman from the village was supposed to come but she took my money and never came. Her brother told me she went to America. Or she is dead. I’m not sure.
    I’m not sure I have time, I said. Aggie