Free Unlovable by Sherry Gammon Page A

everyone kept commenting on my
baggy clothes. Repulsive! Kicking the shower door shut, I tucked a
towel around me and went to dress.
    I decided to wear my one decent blouse
and the jeans I saved for special occasions, not that there were
many of those in my life. Though probably a bit fancy for school,
no one would be mistaking me for a boy today, despite my lack of
curves. I laid the outfit out carefully on my bed and went to the
closet for the pair of tan closed-toed pumps given to me by a
neighbor. She’d fallen and broken her arm while wearing them, and
afraid of meeting the same fate, I hadn’t worn them yet. Today, I
decided I was going to be brave. I could be as pretty as Hillary.
Possibly.
    After fifteen minutes of working on my
hair, I gave up. I mean seriously, how do you fix flat and dull? I
gathered it up into my usual ponytail, letting it fall lifelessly
down the center of my back and hurried into my room. While slipping
the cream-colored blouse on over a white tee shirt, I noticed there
was a button missing so I weaved a safety pin into place on the
underside. Next, I pulled on my jeans; they were huge. I’d lost so
much weight since last wearing them, they hung dangerously low on
my hips, with an all too easy tug they’d fall to the floor. I dug
out an old frayed belt my mother used to wear when I was a kid and
slipped it through the belt loops hoping my shirt was long enough
to cover it.
    The mirror verified my thoughts; if
Hillary were trailer trash, you couldn’t tell us apart. How
completely depressing! With no time left to change, I strapped on
the pumps, at least they looked nice, tugged on my sweater and ran
out the door.
    “ Well, hello, little guy.”
On my doorstep sat a small furry dog who was nothing more than a
tan and brown fur-ball with the sweetest brown eyes I’d ever seen.
He began jumping around and wagging his tail feverishly. I bent
down to let him sniff my hand, which he licked, a good sign, and I
picked him up. He lapped away at my face as I searched his tattered
collar for a dog tag. I’d remembered seeing him once before running
free around the park.
    “ Okay, little guy, calm
down.” I couldn’t help but giggle as he continued to bounce in my
arms. “Where do you live?” He answered with the cutest little
soprano bark I’ve ever heard. “Sorry, cutie, I have to go to
school.” I gave him a hug and put him back down, and he promptly
began following me to the corner.
    “ No.” I stomped my foot
hoping to deter him. He perked up his ears and tilted his head
sideways at me as if to ask why he couldn’t follow.
    “ The street is too busy down
here, you might get run over.” He barked and trotted back toward my
trailer. I chortled and hurried off to school making sure to take a
different route, not wanting to chance running into Seth. The
embarrassing park-kissing incident was still foremost in my
mind.
    I was able to avoid him all morning,
and at lunchtime, my luck was still holding out, no Seth sightings
yet. I debated whether to go and eat in the library, but if the
librarian caught me, it would mean a six-week ban from the place.
Quietly entering the cafeteria, I took a seat in the back corner
and pulled out my half-sandwich, groaning silently as Melody made a
beeline toward me.
    “ Don’t you live over by the
Applegate Park?” I nodded slowly. She smiled and dropped the local
newspaper, The Democrat and
Chronicle , onto the table in front of
me.
    Local woman found dead
near Applegate Park.
    Local resident and college
student Tammy Byrne was found brutally stabbed to death behind an
abandoned building near Applegate Park shortly after two A.M. this
morning. Friends last saw Ms. Byrne as she made her way home taking
her usual route through the park around midnight. A witness
reported seeing a man dressed in black wandering throughout the
area all evening, but said he disappeared around the same time as
Byrne.
    The family has issued the
following statement: ’Tammy