Free Ogre, Ogre (Xanth 5) by Piers Anthony Page A

catnip. Its tail stiffened ecstatically. Then it nipped the catnip. As the potent stuff took effect, the tail suddenly sprang up, carrying the basket along. Suddenly the party of three was flying.
    They looked out between the slats. Xanth was cruising by beneath them, all green and blue and yellow. There were scattered, low-hanging clouds around them, white below, all other colors above, where they couldn't be seen from the ground. Some were rainclouds, shaped like pools, brimming with water. Stray birds were taking baths in them, and flying fish were taking breathers there, too. The basket clipped the edge of these rainclouds and tore a hole in it; the water poured out in a horrendous leak. There was an angry uproar from below as the unscheduled deluge splashed on the forest. But this was the Region of Madness anyway; no one would be able to prove the difference.
    Now it occurred to Smash to wonder about their descent. They had risen smoothly enough, but the fall might be less comfortable.
    Then some sort of material popped out of the lid of the basket. It spread into a huge canopy that caught the air magically and held back the basket. The descent became slow, and they landed by the shore of Lake Ogre-Chobee .
    They opened the basket and stepped out. "That was fun!" Tandy exclaimed girlishly. "But how will the catapult get its basket back?"
    An orange creature hurried up, vaguely catlike. "I'll take that," it said.
    "Who are you?" Tandy asked.
    "I am the agent of this region. It is my job to see that things get where they belong. The catapult has a contract for the return of its baskets."
    "Oh. Then you had better take it. But I don't know how you'll be able to carry that big basket through that thick jungle, or past the Region of Madness."
    "No problem. I'm half mad already." The orange agent picked up the basket and trotted north. The vegetation wilted and died in the creature's vicinity, making a clear path.
    "Oh--that's its magic talent," Tandy said. "Agent Orange kills plants."
    They turned to Lake Ogre-Chobee. It was a fine blue expanse of water with a whirlpool in the center. "Don't go there," the Siren cautioned. "The curse-fiends live there."
    "What is wrong with the curse-fiends?" Smash asked. "My mother was one."
    The Siren turned her gaze on him, startled. "Oh--I understood you were an ogre. The curse-fiends are of human derivation. I didn't mean to--"
    "My mother is an actress. She had to play the part of an ogress in an adaptation of Prince Charming, a Mundane tale. Naturally she was the ingenue."
    "Naturally," the Siren agreed faintly.
    "But my father Crunch happened onto the set, innocently looking for bones to crunch, and spied her and was instantly smitten by her horribleness and carried her away. Naturally she married him."
    "Yes, of course," the Siren agreed, looking wan. "I am jealous of her fortune. I'm of human derivation myself."
    "The curse-fiends fired off a great curse that killed a huge forest," Smash continued. "But my parents escaped the curse by becoming vegetarians. Most ogres crunch bones, so this confused the curse and caused it to misfire."
    "You were raised in a non-bone-crunching home!" Tandy exclaimed.
    "I'm still an ogre," he said defensively.
    "I'm glad it worked out so well," the Siren said. "But I think it would be wise to avoid the curse-fiends. They might not appreciate your position."
    "I suppose so," Smash admitted. "But they are excellent actors. No one ever confused my mother for a human being."
    "I'm sure they didn't," the Siren agreed. "I saw one of the curse-fiends' plays once. It was very well done. But it can be awkward associating with someone who throws a curse when aggravated."
    Smash laughed. "It certainly can be! I acted un-ogrish once, letting a wyvern back me off from an emerald I had found--"
    "My mother set that emerald in place!" Tandy exclaimed.
    "And my mother threw a curse at me," he continued. "It scorched the ground at my feet and knocked me on my head. I