Free The Fat Girl by Marilyn Sachs Page B

talked to each other, and some years they didn’t. But there were other relatives as well.
    “What ever happened to that uncle of yours, Mom? Uncle Charles?”
    “Oh, he’s in an old-age home. I should go out and see him sometime.”
    “And Mom, what about those cousins of yours, the two brothers?”
    “Roger and Bill Porter? I don’t like Roger’s wife. And Bill, well, he’s moved again, I think, and I don’t know where he is.”
    There were no men in my mother’s life. Danny Lefferts, whose parents are divorced, complains all the time because his mother always brings different boyfriends home to spend the night. I don’t think my mother ever even went out with a man since the divorce. It always made me feel relieved that she didn’t. But now I worried about what was going to happen to her when Wanda left, and later, when I went off to college. It gave me a heavy, empty feeling just thinking about it, and I wanted to make it up to her in advance. I wanted to make her happy now, so in those lonely days ahead maybe she could remember.
    “Hey, Mom, how about coming to the movies with Norma and me? If Wanda wants to come, she can come too.”
    My mother looked at me nervously.
    “Why?” she said.
    “Oh, I just thought it might be fun. We haven’t gone out together for a long time. I thought maybe you’d like to.”
    “Thanks, Jeff,” said my mother stiffly, “but I’d rather not.”
    “Why not?”
    “What is it, Jeff?” said my mother. “What’s wrong?”
    “Nothing’s wrong.”
    “So why are you acting so strange?”
    “What’s strange about asking you to come to a movie with me tonight?”
    “And Norma?”
    “Well, all right, Norma too.”
    “Boys don’t usually invite their mothers along to chaperone them on dates, do they?”
    “Well, I just felt I’d like you along tonight, Mom. I don’t think it’s strange. You always twist everything I say.”
    Naturally, it ended in a fight, and I went storming out of the house.
    I spent the afternoon shopping for a birthday present for Ellen. I didn’t know anything about her—what kind of books she read, the kind of music she liked. I couldn’t even remember if she wore jewelry. I ended up buying her a scarf. It was a green one with blue flowers. I found myself thinking about Ellen’s green eyes and the adoring way she had looked at me the other day. Nobody had ever looked at me that way before, not even Norma.
    Norma and her family were going away skiing for the holidays. They had a place up at Tahoe and generally spent Christmas there.
    “I wish you could come too, Jeff.”
    “I’d like to, Norma, but I always spend Christmas at home. And this year, especially . . .”
    “Well, come and have dinner tomorrow night. I’ll cook, so it shouldn’t be too painful. We’re going to get off early Monday morning.”
    “I can’t. I’m going to a birthday party at Ellen’s house. It’s her birthday.”
    Norma was trying not to smile.
    “What’s so funny?”
    “Nothing, nothing, Jeff. Well, come over after. I’ll wait up for you.”
    “I’ll try, but I don’t know how late it’s going to go on.”
    “Whatever time, I’ll wait up.”
    “I’ll try.”
    Norma said slowly, “Don’t you want to come, Jeff? We won’t be seeing each other for a couple of weeks.”
    “Well, sure I want to come.”
    “Because to tell you the truth, Jeff, something is wrong, and I wish I knew what it was.”
    “It’s nothing, Norma.”
    “Maybe it’s all the problems you’re having at home. I guess you’re worried about Wanda moving out and how your mother is going to take it. Is that it?”
    “Yeah—I guess that’s it. I’m sorry. I guess I haven’t been much fun lately.”
    “No, you haven’t,” she said, “but that’s what I’m here for. Just remember that, Jeff. I really care about you, and I want to help.”
    “Thanks, Norma,” I said.
    “And you’ll come tomorrow night?”
    “I’ll try,” I told her.

ten
    Ellen looked