Free Faithful by Louise Bay

me. It took every ounce of control to stop myself from going to him and cupping his face in my hands.
    “ ... and I understand, although I can’t bear it, that that person might not be me.”
    So he had been listening to what I was saying.
    “I want you to know that this is not about me having you, despite me wanting you.”
    “What are you saying , Daniel? I don’t understand.”
    “I also understand that , after I show you what I’m going to show you, you may hate me, and although I can’t bear that thought, I believe that leaving you ignorant would be worse for you. You are more important.”
    “You ’re scaring me, Daniel. What are you saying?” My heart thumped in my chest.
    Daniel took another deep breath. “You know I told you I did my due diligence on people that I have dinner with?”
    “Err, yes, you go professional stalker on people. Where are you going with this, Daniel? Please, just tell me what you want to tell me.”
    “Well , my due diligence on you extended to Charlie.” He pushed the envelope in front of him toward me.
    I jumped to my feet as if the envelope was on fire. “What is it? What’s in there?”
    “You need to see , Leah. Open it.”
    Time shifted into slow motion as I picked up the envelope and slid my fingers underneath the seal. I pulled out the contents: photographs.
    Daniel looked pained when I caught him glancing at me. He put his head in his hands.
    I didn’t understand what I was looking at at first. The pictures were of Charlie going to and from work. They looked like they had been taken with a zoom lens: close-up photos, but he was clearly unaware that he was being captured.
    Then I saw similar pictures of Fran leaving her office. Was Daniel carrying out surveillance on all my friends? What was going on? The next was of Fran and Charlie. That was odd. They didn’t know each other that well. Had they bumped into each other in the park they were sitting in? Her hand was on his arm and his hand was on her back and … oh god, surely not.
    I skipped to the next picture. It was taken at night . A professional couple, both in dark suits—but what they were doing was far from professional. He had pinned her against a wall with his body and they were kissing passionately. The next one was the same scene but from a different angle, and again, and another and another.
    Unmistakably , the couple I was looking at was Fran and Charlie. I tried to rationalize it: Maybe it was before I met them. But Charlie’s tie was one his mother bought him last Christmas. I didn’t need to see more. The photos spilled out onto the floor and sprinkled like confetti.
    I stared after them as the extent of my fiancé’s affair surrounded me. I couldn’t pull my eyes away; the pictures seemed endless, taken on different days, in various points in their passion, all over the city. There were several of the two of them going into her flat at night and coming out during daylight hours.
    I was going to fall. My arms, like lead, refused to steady me and I gave into it, almost wanting the pain of hitting the floor to wake me from this slow-motion nightmare.
    The pain never came . And then there were arms around me, and I was upright though I made no effort to try to stand. My whole body was just limp, and Daniel scooped me from my half-standing, half-falling position and carried me to the sofa. He went to move away and I grabbed his hand and pulled him back.
    “Don’t leave me,” I whispered.
    “I’m not going anywhere,” he said quietly.
    I didn’t understand what I was feeling —numb, I suppose, like I wasn’t really there, like I was just watching myself. My cheeks were dry, I wasn’t crying. I just found out my fiancé was cheating on me with a close friend of mine and I wasn’t crying. I felt no pain, no loss. Maybe this was what shock felt like. All I was aware of were Daniel’s arms around me. His strong hand stroking my shoulder, his mouth pressed to my temple, and that delicious