Free Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) by Love Belvin

departure may have been, the pregnancy pushed him over the edge. It was yet another obstacle preventing him from having Michelle in complete totality.
    That morning I encouraged her to rethink her situation. She was a wonderful being and could be so much to a child no matter the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Michelle ended up in counseling and eventually decided to keep the baby. She said she didn’t want to just throw or give away a life as if it were her decision. Now, Michelle wasn’t religious to any extent but she believed in a higher power; some BS about Mother Earth or something. I stood by her side just as she always had with me. I threw her a shower and was surprised when quite a few of her relatives showed up even her evil cousin, Amber.
    When Erin, who was named after Michelle’s mom, was born that following September I thought she was the most beautiful thing life had to offer next to Michelle. She had wonderfully hazel lit eyes with sandy blonde hair much like her mother. It was apparent her dad was African American, Erin’s skin pigmentation was richer than her mother’s. Her skin tone didn’t matter to me one bit. I loved her instantly.
    Michelle was forever changed . Her life from that day on was consumed with Erin’s needs. And me—I was Auntie Na-Na.
     
     
     

Chapter 4
    Azmir
    I couldn’t sleep. I had too much brimming in my mind. Restless, I got out of bed and walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out over the city of Los Angeles. I’ve come to know these sleepless nights too well. Life couldn’t be more complicated than it is right now. Not to mention the contempt I felt for this woman that was asleep in bed just a few feet away. I didn’t want to be there, I was fed up with the way I’ve settled in this relationship. There were too many sacrifices made on my part over the years that had begun chipping away at my quality of life. Shit had to get better. Life had to offer more.
    Since I was a kid , I said I would hustle these streets until I’d create an exit from the game. Now that day has come and it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I’m getting older and want to branch out—spread my wings. And I can’t do that with my hands half dirty. I know Big D won't take this well. But I have to tell him. Once that happens I can deal with his beloved daughter. Tara. Tara has been an issue for a while now. She’s starting to let the money and the life get to her. There’s no love for me but for the lifestyle she’s grown accustomed to instead. I’m trying to keep shit together for appearance sake but I don’t know how much longer I can compromise my happiness. 
    I don’t know what the hell I was thinking letting people get in my head telling me I should be with her. Who am I kidding? I know what it was. It was her father, Big D, who I admired and respected so much I’d do anything for him. I still would. I just can’t sell my soul to this dude. I’m a man now and I need to make changes in my life that I can live with. I know I can no longer live like this . I need a fresh perspective…almost like a new start.
    I’m successful by many measures. My businesses are doing extremely well. I can have almost any woman of my picking. I have good friends in high places. I’ve traveled the world —even have friends in distant lands. I have my health and good sense. Who wouldn’t respect this life? What man would turn this down? I would . I don’t have family—a family who genuinely cares for me and not because I’m cheese-maker, either. I am thirty-six years old with no children; no one to pass a legacy down to. 
    Hell, I don’t even have an old lady that I would want to have children with. I’m tickled when I think about asking Tara to start a family. Even if I were truly interested, which I am not, she’d laugh at the thought of tarnishing her precious body. Oh, and of course that would create the perfect opportunity for her to ask for a ring.