Free e by Matt Beaumont Page A

we’re not wanted. See you there.
Nigel Godley – 1/5/00, 5:07pm
to:
All Departments
cc:
 
re:
censorship
    Godley’s Office Supplies is no longer open for business. It seems that
certain people
in this company do not wish to see initiative in the ranks. I fully expect to join Ken and Carla on the streets for writing this e-mail, but I’ve always believed in speaking my mind. I’ll be at the Earl of Wessex at six should anyone wish to share an ale and a fare-thee-well with me.
    Nige
    P.S. I would also like to point out that, unlike the so-called “trendy” Bar Zero, the Wessex forswears “fancy” imported lagers and serves an excellent pint of real British ale, not to mention pork scratchings.
David Crutton – 1/5/00, 5:17pm
to:
Pinki Fallon
cc:
 
re:
Mako
    Harriet has shown me your Mako idea and I have to say it’s pretty bloody good. See me at 5:30 and we’ll discuss. Until then perhaps you and your scruffy partner can give some thought as to how you’d like to break the news to your boss that you’ve been sneaking work around behind his back.
David Crutton – 1/5/00, 5:19pm
to:
Rachel Stevenson
cc:
 
re:
who?
    I pride myself on being a caring chief exec who’s at one with his staff, but please answer me this. Who the hell is “Nige,” what is he going on about and should I give a toss?
Liam O’Keefe – 1/5/00, 5:20pm
to:
Vince Douglas
Brett Topowlski
cc:
 
re:
tosser
    Boys, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Crutton wants to see Pinki and me on Mako. Haven’t shown Horne the work yet, so it could be fun when this gets out. I’ll be at BZ after that. Lol’s coming. By the way, I’m getting fan mail from the new girl, Katie. She fancies me. Have you seen the arse on it though? Mad eyes too. Definite bunny-boiler.
[email protected] 1/5/00, 5:32pm (7:32pm local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
who?
    You must be more pressured with work than I am realising to not know about Nige Godley. He is indeed a Pillar of Hercules inside the Miller Shanks network. For much time now your Nige and Matti Littmanen of our own accountings department have been sharing productive e-mailings which result in a super-dooper efficient computer system to control our inventory of stationeries. This has made a major contributing factor to our becoming the 11th most profitable office in the European organisation.
    He is not all work, work, working either. He is being anenthusiastic partner in a cultural exchange with our
Babylon 5
fan club here in Helsinki. I am already recommending Nige to Jimmy Weissmuller for a senior network position. He is exactly the type of far-sighting personality we need to meet the challenges of the next 2000 millenniums.
    May the Force be with you – Pertti.
David Crutton – 1/5/00, 5:38pm
to:
Chandra Kapoor
cc:
Rachel Stevenson
re:
come in, Kapoor, your time is up
    What exactly do you get up to in your den in the basement? Macramé? Tai chi? Or do you just sit on your arse and watch daytime TV? Because whatever the fuck it is, it’s not fixing the fault on my e-mail. You have until the morning.
Letitia Hegg / [email protected] 1/5/00, 5:44pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
new stars in the firmament
    Si, darling, thx for Xmas cocktails at la casa Horne. Always a pleasure, and I’ve yet to meet a living soul who knows his way round the Spanish wine regions as well as
el Horneo.
    On to business. I have a team that you will simply want to eat for brekky. Charming, talented and multi-multi-award winning, they are the toast of Italian advertising. Now they are dying to try their hands in the toughest arena of all. Their English is a bit flaky, but these days it’s all about the big visual, isn’t it? Words are so 20th century. At this mo’ they’re my little secret, but that won’t last. Trevor Beattie is already sniffing and soon it will be flies round shit. If you’re interested they’d come in