Free Batman 2 - Batman Returns by Craig Shaw Gardner Page A

night.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

    W ith all these interruptions, The Penguin would never finish!
    He looked up to see Max Shreck stepping between the members of the Red Triangle Circus, past the Tatooed Strongman, rippling those belly dancers he had tattooed on his biceps, stopping to let one of the acrobats walk past on his hands. Max grinned at The Penguin. Somehow, he seemed much too cheerful for a businessman.
    Max nodded at all the performers around them.
    “Ah,” he remarked, “your—extended family.”
    The Penguin sighed. Max was leading up to something. His lists would have to wait for the minute.
    “Come on downstairs, Oswald,” Max urged. “I have a—surprise.”
    The Penguin scowled. “I don’t like surprises.” Sometimes, The Penguin still thought it was a mistake to come out of those sewers.
    But Max was insistent. He waved The Penguin away from his desk and toward a spiral stairs.
    Hesitantly, The Penguin walked forward. So far, Max had more than held up his part of the bargain. And the businessman certainly knew, should anything happen to The Penguin, his circus friends were very good at revenge.
    So this had to be something good.
    Still, The Penguin thought of icy waters.
    “Don’t want to spoil it!” Max explained as he tried to put his hands over the Penguin’s eyes.
    The Penguin growled. Trusting people was one thing, but certain people were asking for it. Max quickly pulled his hands away.
    “Then close your eyes,” Max insisted.
    Oh, all right. The Penguin dutifully closed his eyes almost all the way as Max led him down the stairs. This had better be good, or he’d let the circus gang practice on Max even earlier than he had planned.
    He opened his eyes when they went from stairs to concrete.
    “Ta-da!” Max announced.
    The Penguin looked around the storefront. It had been transformed from an old drugstore into something bustling and cheerful, full of brand-new desks and state-of-the-art computers and smiling college kids. The place had gotten a bright white coat of paint, too, after which the walls had been covered with red, white, and blue bunting. But the most astonishing things here were the signs and posters, the biggest of which read COBBLEPOT FOR MAYOR.
    As if this wasn’t enough, there were posters taped all around, and every one had The Penguin’s picture on it, along with the words OZZIE VS. THE INSIDERS!
    Everyone cheered and applauded. Max’s grin got even bigger.
    The Penguin was flabbergasted.
    “But—” he began. “What—” he added. “I—I mean—” he tried.
    He didn’t know what he meant.
    What was going on here?
    “Yes,” Max said effusively, “adulation is a cross to bear. God knows I know. But someone’s got to supplant our standing-in-the-way-of-progress mayor, and don’t deny it, Mr. Cobblepot, your charisma is bigger than both of us!”
    “Mayor?” The Penguin replied.
    Max smiled and grinned. “Mayor.”
    But this didn’t make any sense, even to somebody who had lived most of his life in the sewers.
    “Max,” he pointed out, “elections happen in November. Is this not late December?”
    Max waved a well-dressed pair forward; so well-dressed that they smelled of money, and success, and power. One man and one woman, both wearing appropriately dark-colored suits, both smiling perfectly gleaming white smiles.
    They made The Penguin nervous.
    The man stared critically at The Penguin before his smile returned.
    “Keep the umbrella!” he announced. “Works for you! I’m Josh. Here!” He shoved something in The Penguin’s mouth. “Reclaim your birthright!”
    The Penguin glared down at the new object between his lips. It was a jet-black cigarette holder. The woman was circling him now. The Penguin wished he were back upstairs with his yellow notepads.
    “I’m Jen,” she announced as she grabbed his sleeve. “Stand still for a second while I slip on these little glove thingies—”
    Glove thingies? The Penguin glanced over at her handiwork.