Free A Hidden Secret by Linda Castillo

I’m content.
    “Wann der Disch voll is, well mir bede.” If the tables are full, let us pray. Jacob gives the signal for the before-meal prayer. Heads are bowed. Next to us, the children’s table goes silent. And Jacob’s voice rings out. “O Herr Gott, himmlischer Vater, Segne uns und Diese Diene Gaben, die wir von Deiner milden Gute Zu uns nehmen warden, Speise und tranke auch unsere Seelen zum ewigen Leben, und mach uns theilhaftig Deines himmllischen Tisches durch Jesus Christum. Amen.”
    O Lord God, heavenly Father, bless us and these thy gifts, which we shall accept from thy tender goodness. Give us food and drink also for our souls unto life eternal, and make us partakers of thy heavenly table through Jesus Christ. Amen.
    Upon finishing, he looks around, and as if by unspoken agreement, everyone begins reaching for platters and filling their plates.
    “The kids have grown so much since I saw them last,” I say as I spoon green beans onto my plate.
    “It seems like yesterday that Little Hannah was a newborn,” my sister says with a sigh. “They grow up so fast.”
    Jacob slathers homemade butter onto an ear of corn. “Elam drove the tractor last week.”
    Sarah rolls her eyes. “And almost drove it into the creek!”
    “Like father like son,” William mutters.
    Irene pours a second glass of tea. “Katie, do you and John have any plans for children?”
    I can tell by the way the pitcher pauses mid-pour that she realizes instantly her faux pas. Her eyes flick to mine. I see a silent apology, then she quickly looks away and sets the pitcher on the table. “There’s tea if anyone’s thirsty.”
    “Maybe they should get married first,” Jacob says.
    “I love weddings.” Sarah shakes pepper onto an ear of corn.
    “Any plans for one, Katie?” Jacob asks.
    In the interminable silence that follows, the tension builds, as if it were a living thing, growing and filling up space. I’m not sure how to respond. The one thing I do know is that no matter what I say, I’ll be judged harshly for it.
    “Let’s just say we’re a work in progress.” I smile, but it feels dishonest on my lips because I know now that this Pandora’s box has been opened, it’s fair game.
    “Work?” Jacob slathers apple butter onto a roll. “I don’t think getting married is too much work.”
    “For a man, anyway,” Irene says.
    “A man’ll work harder to stay out of the house.” William doesn’t look up from his plate. “If he’s smart.”
    “I think Kate’s placing the emphasis on the ‘in progress’ part.” Tomasetti grins at Irene. “Pass the corn, please.”
    “In the eyes of the Lord, the two of you are living in sin,” Jacob says.
    I turn my attention to my brother. “In the eyes of some of the Amisch, too, evidently.”
    He nods, but his expression is earnest. “I don’t understand why two people would want to live like that.”
    Embarrassment and, for an instant, the familiar old shame creeps up on me, but I don’t let it take hold. “Jacob, this isn’t the time or place to discuss this.”
    “Are you afraid God will hear?” he asks. “Are you afraid He will disapprove?”
    Tomasetti helps himself to an ear of corn, sets down his fork, and turns his attention to my brother. “If you have something on your mind, Jacob, I think you should just put it out there.”
    “Marriage is a sacred thing.” He holds Tomasetti’s gaze, thoughtful. “I don’t understand why you choose to live the way you do. If a man and woman choose to live together, they should be married.”
    All eyes fall on Tomasetti. He meets their stares head-on and holds them, unflinching and unapologetic. “With all due respect, that’s between Kate and me. That’s the best answer I can give you, and I hope you and the rest of the family will respect it.”
    My brother looks away in deference. But I know that while he’ll tolerate our point of view for now, he’ll never agree with it—or give his blessing. “All