Free Leaving Yesterday by Kathryn Cushman Page A

disappear. Long after he was gone, I stood in my driveway doing nothing. Completely alone.

Eleven
    Rick arrived early on Thursday, carrying a bouquet of flowers. “I thought these would look nice on the table.”
    I stared at the multicolored mixture, too stunned to even react for a moment. “Wow. Thanks.” Flowers? From Rick? Even though they were just to make the place look nice for Kurt, I knew the gesture was way out of his comfort zone, and I appreciated them all the more for it. He really was going to try. Once I finally recovered my senses enough to remove the vase from his hands, I went to arrange it on the table, removing the flowers I’d already set there. I placed them on the coffee table in the living room.
    “I guess I should have told you I was bringing those, huh? It would have saved you some money and effort.”
    I flipped my hand dismissively. “A girl can never have too many flowers.”
    He turned and walked toward the window. “I’m terrified, Alisa. I want this to be for real.”
    I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. We waited then, mostly in silence. It wasn’t hostile, or even awkward. I think we were both simply too nervous to make small talk.
    When I saw the rusted junker pull into my driveway, a joy pulsed through my veins like I can’t begin to describe. I thought of all the times I’d heard the story of the prodigal son, in Sunday school as a kid, then in sermons as I’d gotten older. Looking back, I realized that even as an adult I’d always focused on the son and his journey back, the courage it took to return home defeated. Only in this exact moment did I fully understand the depth of the father’s love and pain as he stood watching down the road day after day. I thought of the part where he saw his son coming when he was still far off, and as I looked at the tired red car in my driveway, I understood every bit of his elation at the first glimpse of his son. Tonight, I was certain part of that ancient father’s spirit must be with me. The only thing missing here was the fatted calf, but for Kurt, beef stroganoff was probably even better.
    My fingers pressed against the handle, prepared to fling the door open, when I felt Rick’s hand on mine. “We have to be responsible, Alisa. Do not, under any circumstances, give him money.”
    His words sucked the joy right out of me. “Why would you say something like that? Our son is back. He’s turned his life around. Why would you want to belittle him by making the comment you just made?” I took care to keep my voice soft, for fear that it might carry to the driveway, but everything inside me wanted to scream.
    “I know my son. That’s how I can say it.” His eyes had dulled to that look I’d grown so accustomed to. What had happened to the man I used to know, the same man who had been standing in this living room just moments ago? The one who even dared to hope a little? At that moment, I began to realize we might not be able make it through the evening without Kurt realizing we were separated.
    I jerked my hand off the handle and Rick took the hint.
    “At least give him a chance.”
    “I will give him a chance. I’m just not going to give him any money, and I don’t want you to give him any, either.”
    There were plenty of reasons from Kurt’s past that made this a valid concern, I knew it. But I was willing to put all those bad things behind us and move toward a new future with the son who had returned to us. I jerked the door open and ran to meet him, never looking back at the man who used to be my husband. “Kurt, oh, sweetie.” I threw my arms around him and he hugged me tighter than he’d ever hugged me in his whole life. He didn’t let go.
    “Oh, Mom, it’s so good to see you.” He continued to hold me. “I’m so sorry, so sorry.”
    I held on for as long as I could, before emotion forced me to pull away. The sting of tears was prickling my eyes, and I would not ruin this moment by crying. I didn’t want