breathless a moment later, both of us panting heavily. I slowly open my eyes to find Chance staring down at me, his eyes heavy lidded and blazing with desire. "Was that so bad?" he asks, his voice hoarse.
I shake my head jerkily. Hesitant to admit that I am, in fact, extremely turned on, and it is because of another man. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that another man would give me a hard on; however, I have one, and I am positive that Chance can feel it. He grunts then drops his head back down, nudging my face to the side. He starts kissing and licking the other side of my neck. My breath hisses out, my hands involuntarily squeeze his sides, and my own hips unconsciously roll up, trying to get my cock some relief.
That freaks me out enough that I come back to my senses. I bite out a vicious curse and push Chance onto the floor, him landing with a thud and an "oof." I sit up, breathing heavily. I reluctantly glance down at Chance, who is lying on the floor, wedged between the couch and the ottoman. His eyes are closed, his lips parted, and one hand is between his bent knees, shifting his erection in his jeans.
"I can't do this," I rasp.
Chance snorts. "Quit being so dramatic, you were enjoying it a second ago."
"That's the problem," I say, swallowing hard.
His eyes pop open to glare at me, his mouth turned down into a frown. "Seriously?"
I don’t reply, I just turn away. I do not want to be turned on by a guy. I don’t want to kiss a guy. This is just too much.
"So...what? Are you going to drop out of the movie then?" Chance asks evenly, not making any moves to get up off the floor.
"Yeah, I think so," I rasp. I feel like a failure, but I’ll get over it.
Chance grips the side of the couch and ottoman as he pulls himself up into a sitting position. "Parker, it's okay, you know? Whatever you’re feeling, it's just a reaction, it doesn't mean anything," he says softly, placing his hand on my knee.
"It's not...I don't like it," I whisper.
Chance struggles to his knees. He then uses my legs to turn me so that I’m facing him. He is now kneeling between my legs, his hands resting on the tops of my thighs. My heart pounds. I don’t like this position, it is too suggestive.
"What are you so afraid of?" he asks, looking up at me.
I shake my head. "I'm not afraid of anything. I just don't like the fact that my body is betraying me," I admit before I can think better of it.
Chance smirks. "Pleasure is pleasure; does it really matter where it's coming from?"
“Yes!" I snap, brushing his hands off my legs.
His smile fades. "This movie could be huge for both of us. This part was made for you. Are you really going to ruin it because of this?"
I keep my face blank but inside I know that he’s right. "I thought that you'd be happy that I was quitting," I say evenly.
He smiles softly and shakes his head. "I thought so, too, but apparently that's changed. I can't see this movie working with anyone else as my partner; plus, you’re one of very few guys that I actually find attractive," he says, finishing with a wink.
I let out a choked laugh despite myself. I rub my face with both hands then close my eyes and rest my head on the back of the couch. "How can you be so calm about this? I mean, you've never been with a guy, right?" I ask, lifting my head back up to look down at Chance, who is still kneeling between my legs.
He shrugs. "Not willingly.”
“What the fuck does that mean? ‘Not willingly.’ You’ve been with a man before? Sexually?” I ask, caught off guard by his answer.
“That means that yes, I have been with a man before. No, it wasn’t voluntary. And yes, again, it was sexual,” he answers, unable to look at me.
Well, don’t I just feel like the fucking asshole. I don’t even know what to say at this point. He obviously had nonconsensual sex with a man at some point in his life. And after supporting Charlie throughout her whole ordeal, as big of an insensitive jerk I know I can