Free Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg, Special Collector's Edition by Barry Williams;Chris Kreski

world's worst-ever game show,
"Match Game."
    Monte Margetts had roles in a couple of obscure 1950s sitcoms,
and has since retired from the acting world. Kathleen Freeman, on
the other hand is an absolutely brilliant comedic character actress
who spent most of the 1960s yelling at Jerry Lewis in films like The
Disorderly Orderly. One look at her picture and you'll know
exactly who I'm talking about.

    Kathleen "could'a been
'Alice' " Freeman. (Courtesy Kathleen Freeman(
    So the real question to be answered here is: How did Joyce and
Kathleen become Florence and Ann?
    The answer: It wasn't easy.
    Florence was always supposed to audition for the role of Carol,
but when it came time to actually shoot the screen tests, she was
performing her nightclub act. Up until she became Carol Brady,
Florence was primarily known as a singer, and was working at a
club in Texas. Unable to get herself to L.A. in time, Florence was
forced to politely decline Sherwood Schwartz's request that she
audition for the role of Carol. The part was offered to Joyce Bulifant, and that was that.
    Once Joyce was in place, Sherwood was able to cast his Alice.
He felt that Joyce had a naturally funny personality and that she'd
play very well against a strong "straight man" type. Kathleen Freeman fit that bill perfectly and became Alice.
    Meanwhile, Florence was rehearsing her act in Texas when an
idea came to her: she could jet into L.A., get a cab to speed over to
the Paramount lot, screen-test for "The Brady Bunch," speed back
to LAX, and jet back to Texas, all in time for her nine o'clock nightclub performance. She called Sherwood back, explained her brainstorm, and asked if she could still squeeze in a screen test. Sherwood said sure, and twenty-four hours later she would have her
chance to play Carol. Simple, right?

    Wrong!, Florence's plane was delayed, she got stuck in traffic,
and she didn't even get to the Paramount studios until she was
almost two hours late. Desperate to make up some time, Florence
ran in a mad rush toward the nearest available makeup man. Running from set to set, she finally found one on the set of-"Star
Trek"! He agreed to do her makeup, but Florence's troubles
weren't over yet.
    "I was sitting in a makeup chair between William Shatner,
Leonard Nimoy, and like six or eight space monsters. None of
them had any idea who I was or made any attempt to be friendly,
which really bugged me. Anyway, this makeup guy proceeded to
put a makeup on me that was absolutely unbelievable. Put it this
way: Mr. Spock ended up looking more attractive than I did. It was
awful! I wound up with eyelashes that were like three inches long!
    "Mortified, I went back to the Brady soundstage and I said to
Sherwood, `Look, I just want you to know that I think this makeup
is all wrong for Carol Brady, or any other living human creature. So
remember, when you see these eyelashes flapping around in the
breeze, I think they look stupid too.' And Sherwood laughed.
Maybe I should thank that terrible makeup man, because in a way,
his botch job helped me get the part."
    Despite the Mary Kay nightmare, Florence's screen test was a
smash, and Sherwood had a new Carol. However, he also had a
new problem: namely, two "straight men" in the same kitchen.
    Sherwood knew that Carol and Alice would be sharing a lot of
scenes together in the Brady kitchen, but he felt that Florence
wasn't as naturally funny as Joyce. So Sherwood said maybe we
should let Alice be the funny one and remembered Ann B. Davis,
whom he calls "genuinely, immediately, and automatically funny."
The chips started falling into place.
    Incidentally, Florence did make it back to Texas in time for her
nine o'clock show, and it went smoothly. But the very next morning she had to once again pack up and fly out to L.A.-this time, to
start shooting the pilot for "The Brady Bunch."
    Lastly, rather than simply blow off the rest of her nightclub
engagement, Florence made