Free Ghost Hero by S. J. Rozan

to her faster. Cutting me out made her day.”
    “Did you know it was coming?” Jack asked Bill.
    “I just go with the flow.”
    “Hey, I wasn’t the one who hauled out the Uncle Vanya accent and the Jersey Shore jewelry when we started this,” I said. “So? The photos?”
    “Not yet. We were interrupted at a delicate moment.” Bill looked at Jack, who shrugged an apology. “But I’m buying her a drink later.”
    “You’re kidding me.”
    “Hey, she’s not the kind of girl who shows her phone to a guy on the first date.”
    “Why not? She shows everything else.”
    “Oh, snap,” said Jack. “Do I smell the sickly sweet scent of jealousy?”
    “Impatience. What good is later going to do us? Why didn’t you just swipe the phone?”
    “I thought about it. But seeing the photos wouldn’t have told us where they were taken. Or would it? Is there some way—could Linus—”
    “You ask that as though, if there were some way and Linus could, you’d actually go back up and steal it.”
    “I would.”
    “Who’s Linus?” Jack asked.
    “Well, there’s not, so don’t bother.”
    “Who’s Linus?”
    “My cousin.”
    “Ah.” Jack nodded sagely, as though that had clarified something. “Who’s Linus?”
    “Linus Wong,” Bill said. “Runs a computer security business. His motto is, ‘Protecting people like you from people like us.’”
    “He’s a hacker?”
    “At heart.”
    “Really. Is he good?”
    “The best,” I said stoutly.
    “In that case,” Jack said, “I think we could use him anyway.”
    “Why?”
    Jack leaned beside me on the planter. “Shayna’s the daughter of one of Jen’s big collectors. Jen’s assistant is out on maternity leave, so she gave Shayna the fill-in job to keep Shayna’s daddy happy. Shayna knows enough about the art to avoid making a fool of herself, and she’s decorative enough that a lot of collectors don’t care what she knows. But she’s also wildly ambitious. According to Jen, who’s counting the days, she’s everything you think she is.”
    “You mean, a man-eating coldhearted calculating—”
    “Yes.”
    “—backstabbing brownnosing—”
    “Exactly.”
    “—kind of woman who, if she had a date with a new guy, would totally Google him.”
    “Totally.”
    “Ah. And might share valuable information with the new guy, if she thought there was something in it for her?”
    Bill said, “Getting to spend an hour with me at Bemelmans Bar isn’t enough in it for her?”
    “If you’re planning to expense this you’d better choose someplace cheaper than Bemelmans Bar.” I took out my phone. “I’m not sure we have time, though. She’s probably Googling already.”
    “No,” said Bill. “I thought of that. I never quite gave her my last name.”
    I stared. “You thought of that? I had no idea you even knew what Google was.”
    “I don’t know how to play the accordion, either, but I’ve seen it done often enough to know it’s possible.”
    I looked at Jack. “Two Chinese people standing here, and the white guy talks in convoluted metaphors.” I called Linus.
    “Hey, Cuz! What’s going on? Hey, Trell, it’s Lydia!”
    I heard Linus’s friend Trella call a greeting across the room—his parents’ garage, actually, where Wong Security operates from—and I said “hi” back, which Linus passed on. “I’m calling on business, Linus. I have a job for you guys. You busy?”
    “We’re always busy. Big growth industry I’m in here. But never too busy for you. Especially if it’s gonna be fun.”
    “Well, you tell me. Bill needs a new identity.”
    “Awesome! He steal a billion from the Colombian cartel? Or he’s on the run from the FBI?”
    “He wants to date a pretty lady.”
    “Oh. You know, lots of people do that without being in Witness Protection. Besides, I thought … I mean…”
    “It’s business, Linus. We have a case. I have a case. Anyway,” I said, suddenly annoyed at myself and not sure why, “we think