Free Everafter Series 1 - Everafter by Nell Stark, Trinity Tam Page B

flowing around my hand as her blood burst across my lips and dribbled down my chin. I raised my head, spattering droplets in a fine shower across the crisp, white sheets, finally at peace.
    The memory of the dream was paralyzing—ice in my veins, frozen tendrils ripping into my heart and slicing it to pieces. Even the simple thought of Alexa’s blood set my thirst ablaze, even more potent now that it had a focus. Of course I wanted her in that way, too. It made perfect sense. I needed her heart, her mind, her body. And now her blood.
    The pain was debilitating. Clutching at my stomach, I leaned forward and rested my head between my legs. My thoughts were spiraling like Yeats’s falcon. The sickly sweet smell of the car’s air freshener was cloying. If I vomited now, it would be blood. More, I needed more. Needed Alexa’s—no. Not Alexa, not ever. So I had to do it. Else, I would destroy her. I bit down hard on my bottom lip to stifle a sob.
    Oh God, I begged silently. Turn my heart into stone so I can survive this.
    I shut my eyes. Behind them, my last conversation with Helen and Clavier played out, tormenting me.
     
    “You must realize, Valentine: Alexa is in danger. From you.”
    At the words, my chest constricted painfully. Every untainted cell in my body protested, but the truth lay in those infected by the parasite. The dream flickered in my memory, dark and sinister. I had torn out her throat in my imagination, days ago. How long before my body’s need overruled my brain, my heart?
    “No,” I whispered. “Oh, no.” I turned my gaze on Helen. I could barely hear my own voice over the sound of blood rushing through my ears. “What can I…how can I keep from—”
    “You must let her go,” she said.
     
    I stared at her in disbelief, the utter absurdity of the thought overruling every other emotion. Let her go? It wasn’t possible. I was hers and she was mine—my love, my desire, my fate. We might not have sworn vows officially yet, but in my head, I had already said them all. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.
    Only now, I was Death.
    “It is difficult at best for a vampire to maintain a relationship with a human,” Helen said softly. “First, there is the problem of time—the human will continue to age, while the vampire will not. Then, there is the problem of discovery. A vampire must conceal her needs from her human lover, lest that person reveal the secret to others. As you can imagine, Valentine, it is imperative for us to remain in hiding. At least, for now.”
    She paused, taking in my clenched jaw and listening to my shallow breaths. Her cool hand lingered on mine. “And then there is the problem of thirst. The impulse to feed grows much stronger during intimacy. It is a cycle: sex triggers the urge to drink, and drinking will only sharpen your desire. In a moment of passion, a vampire is quite likely to forget herself. I have…seen it happen.”
    I caught her hesitation. She hadn’t just seen it—she had experienced it. She had killed someone. And I could kill Alexa. While we were making love, I could lose control and rip into her. Just like in the dream.
    I slumped in my chair, resting my head in my palms. I was a monster. I had been right to fear being close to her. And I wouldn’t continue to endanger her—I wouldn’t.
    But how, how was I supposed to let her go?
    The car that Helen had arranged for me pulled up to the curb in front of my apartment. I didn’t reach for the handle. Instead, I looked out the tinted windows at the front door, remembering one night over the summer when Alexa and I had been out until the early hours of the morning, drinking at the Niagra after my shift was over. We had stumbled back home, arms wrapped around each other. Starving for her, I’d been unable to wait. While she was fumbling to get her key in the front door, I had pushed her hard against it and kissed her roughly, greedily. I remembered thrusting my