Free Call Me Lumpy: My Leave It to Beaver Days and Other Wild Hollywood Life by Frank Bank, Gibu Twyman

moved out. He came over for dinner maybe twice a week and did his laundry.

 

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That was about it, because he was out with his pals and girl friends.
So what did I do with no television and time on my hands? I was kind of an introverted kid at the time. I wasn't really a loner. I had a few playmates in the neighborhood. But I was comfortable being by myself at that stage of my life, I guess.
Anyway, I would sit home and listen to the radio in the afternoon. Instead of listening to some other weird stuff, I'd listen to the race re-creations. From 4 to 5 o'clock, they'd run the races from Hollywood Park or Santa Anita or Del Mar.
I liked some of the names, like Citation and Coal Town. I got fascinated by this stuff. Then my dad said if I picked up the Los Angeles Examiner, I could see where they had all the horses rated. And he sort of helped me sound out the words. An "a", a "b", a "c."
I was born in '42 and this was '46 when we started with the words. And now I'm learning to read. But then came the numbers, because I was talking about prices. My dad wasn't a teacher, but he explained to me about a zero and a 10 and the way they worked.
Then I would put Tinkertoys together. I would put three together over here and three together over there, and I'd say, "Mom, if I have this and I put these Tinkertoys there and those Tinkertoys here and push them together, is it six Tinkertoys?"
And she'd go, "Yeah, honey."
And she'd walk away, not knowing that I was learning to add and subtract and multiply and divide. This was before school for me. I just sort of learned by accident. I figured it out for myselfwith a little help. Because I had time on my hands.
Time?
Did I tell you I took the time, when I was in the second or third grade, to read the entire encyclopedia?
That's right.
I did.
I said there wasn't a whole heck of a lot to do in my neighborhood. Maybe there wasn't anything to do.
Because I read all 20 volumes of the "World Book Encyclopedia" when I was 7 years old.
Every word, A to Z.
It took me about three months.
I was kind of a knowledge junkie. I learned all these crazy things.
Here's the thing. I learned a bunch of garbage that didn't mean anything. I mean, I knew that the markets closed on Catalina Island at 6 o'clock. I knew that kangaroos sat on their tails.
I mean, how do you apply these things to regular life? But I dug it. I

 

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soaked up knowledge. I loved soaking up knowledge.
It was something my mom and dad had loved all their lives and they passed on to me.
They passed on a love of doing and accomplishing, even with all the hits and misses of life. You just have to keep on plugging.
That's what Mom and Dad did.
Eventually, the meat business got pretty solid. And Leonard-the-Sport was really proud. He bought my mom a 1939 Willys for 50 bucks. It was 10 years old, because this was 1949, but that was no small feat. And let me tell you, that son-of-a-gun ran.
It was this ugly blue color, and you know what? I'd give a lot of money for that car today. It was really cool.
In a way, the Willys was much like my old man. Kind of an ugly blue color, but the son-of-a-gun could really run.
I'd give any amount to see him today. He was just really the coolest.
My dad had one wish that I was glad that I was able to fulfill for him.
The Jewish tradition is, when someone dies, you dip 'em in the ground the same day so the healing begins. I mean, all you other guys are barbarians. You put 'em in a room and you drink with them for a week and once they start smellin bad, you plant 'em.
But us Jews, we gotta plant 'em right away.
I couldn't do that because my dad died at this dude ranch in Paso Robles, California.
It was a challenge.
He died on a Thursday night, late at night. And because he died away from home, they picked up his body at the hospital and they wouldn't release it. Until some medical guy, whatever they had in that territory, gave his OK.
In the Jewish tradition, you can't bury them on Saturday, the