Free Rock 01 - FRET by Sandrine Gasq-DIon

leaned into my ear.
    “Are you okay?”
    “Yes. Just tired,” I lied. There was something so damned sexy about Axel. I couldn’t put a finger on just what it was. Was he gorgeous? Yep. Was he tall, brooding and dangerous? Yep. Was he smart and funny in a sarcastic way? Yep. Maybe it was all of those things. I felt safe with him. I know that sounds hilarious.
    I feel safe with a killer.
    “I’m going to get Gareth home,” Axel announced.
    “Okay.” Ransom stood and pulled me into a hug. “Camping on Friday.”
    “I’ll be there.”

Chapter 5: Axel
     
    I don’t like talking about my job. Well, more specifically I don’t like discussing people I’ve killed. Was it a necessary job? Yes, by far. Did I like it? No, not really; but it is what it is.
    I don’t like Gareth being reminded of who and what I am. I don’t want him to be afraid of me. When he shivered next to me, I knew he was probably remembering that I kill for a living.
    When he slipped on the trail this morning, I almost lost my ever-loving fucking mind. All I could think was to get to him before he slid down that ridge and broke something. Or fell on his head and died. And holding him in my arms? He felt so right in my embrace it seriously weirded me out.
    I’ve never wanted anyone close to me; touching me, kissing me — but right then I had wanted to kiss Gareth. I wanted to know what his lips felt like against mine. Just then, Gareth shot me a smile and I relaxed a bit in the passenger seat.
    “That made you uncomfortable, didn’t it?”
    “How did you know?” I grunted.
    “The tone of your voice. Are you going to be okay with them pelting you with questions about your time in the Navy?”
    “As long as I don’t go into detail, I should be able to discuss some of it.”
    “You don’t have to —”
    “No, it’s okay but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I looked over at Gareth. “Does it bother you?”
    “What?”
    “That I’ve killed people?”
    “Well, it is your job isn’t it?”
    “That’s not what I asked.”
    I could tell Gareth was concentrating, as if he was really pondering my question. I was almost afraid of the answer. I looked out the window. Why did it matter what Gareth thought? In all my years, I couldn’t have given a rat’s ass what people thought of me. But now I was worried he would look at me differently.
    “No. It doesn’t bother me.”
    I almost didn’t hear him. I turned in the seat and eyed him skeptically.
    “It doesn’t?”
    “No.”
    “Why?”
    “Because it’s a necessary evil and it’s you or them. Correct?”
    “Something like that.”
    “Well, I’d rather have you.”
    I tried to keep my face neutral. I don’t normally tell people what I do for a living. Being a gun for hire is lucrative, but it isn’t something you go around announcing to guys you wanna fuck. Wait. I want to fuck Gareth? Who am I kidding? Of course I want to fuck him. I want to do so many things to him, it’s fucking mind bending.
    “Axel?”
    “Yes?”
    “I take it you don’t hear that a lot.”
    “No. Can’t say that I do.”
    “I wonder — have you ever told a date what you do?”
    “I don’t date.”
    “You don’t?” Gareth turned to me in surprise.
    “No. I don’t have time for dates. I fuck and I go.”
    “Oh.”
    Did he sound almost sad? I guess I did make myself sound like an asshole. Then again, I am an asshole.
    “So you’d never consider a long-term relationship?”
    “Would you? I mean, you’re in a band and you tour a lot. Not really conducive to making a relationship work.”
    “I don’t know. I think if you love someone enough, you make it work.”
    “Has that worked in your relationships?”
    “I haven’t had any,” Gareth admitted softly.
    “Wait. What? What do you mean you haven’t had any? You came out; you should be able to date.”
    “Date who? In the beginning, before I came out, I was having sex with women. Then when I did come out, I actually found it hard to