Free The Fairyland Murders by J.A. Kazimer

the toothy type or ones that covered worse things. I wondered what sort of rot Penelopee hid behind her shiny teeth and fresh, innocent face.
    â€œPenelopee,” I said. “What can I do for you? Follow your cheating husband perhaps?”
    â€œI’m not married.”
    â€œRun a background check on your ladies-in-waiting then?”
    She shook her head.
    â€œDissuade an amorous suitor?” All of the above were typical jobs for the princess and the PI. I wouldn’t enjoy any of them, but they would pay the bills.
    â€œCertainly not.” She frowned, rubbing her hands together. “What I am going to tell you . . . it must stay between us.”
    I guess she hadn’t noticed the half fairy behind me. Not that it mattered. Izzy wasn’t in any position to be spreading secrets.
    I slowly nodded at her demand. Most of my clients made similar requests, though not so eloquently put. They more often than not sounded more like, “Blue, you breathe a word of this and you won’t be breathing no more.”
    I held up my hand in a Boy Scout salute, a salute I’d learned two days before a much-too-touchy scout master had a run-in with an exposed electrical wire. “Whatever you say to us . . .” I glared at Izzy, “won’t leave this office. You have my word.”
    Surprisingly, my word seemed to appease the princess. She smiled, reaching for my hand. I pulled from shock range just in time. Her grin faltered, but she recovered quickly. “I might be in some trouble.”
    Considering most people avoided PIs unless they were in trouble, her sitting in my office suggested as much, but I kept my observation to myself. “What kind of trouble?”
    â€œI need your help to find . . . something . . . something very important. . .” She paused, wiping a tear from her eye.
    My reluctance to help her vanished as two more tears fell. Maybe I was being a little hasty. She really seemed to need my help. I grabbed a tissue from my desk and pressed it into her hand. A part of me wanted to comfort her, to make everything all right.
    Izzy let out a snort and then rolled her eyes. I shot her a heated glare and returned my attention to Penelopee. “Please, have a seat, Princess.” I dumped Izzy out of my chair, pushing it around the desk as I brushed off year-old crumbs. The half fairy squeaked, fanning her wings out with displeasure, but I ignored her.
    Penelopee froze, her gaze on Izzy’s glorious wings, before shaking her head and taking a seat on my chair. However, she did make a point to brush it off first. Izzy took offense to the action, if the look of violence on her face was any indication.
    I stepped between the two women before Penelopee found out what pink wings tasted like. “What sort of object did you lose?”
    â€œI didn’t lose anything exactly.” She ran a finger over her bottom lip. “Here’s the truth. I was dating this prince.... He . . . we . . . I’m afraid he took . . . something from my apartment while I was out. A tape of sorts. I need it back before the press gets wind of it.”
    Sex tape. I wondered what sort of kink the princess was into. Mé-nage à troll? I shivered with disgust at the thought. But I was intrigued. Penelopee looked like the princess next door type, but a sex tape would prove otherwise.
    The princess frowned. “I don’t know how he got in to steal it. I live on the top floor of a secure building. No one gets upstairs without my approval and he didn’t have it.”
    â€œWhich means you have a security breech,” I said with a nod. “What is it you want me to do?” I’d dealt with my fair share of ex-boyfriends. For my clients. One fifty-thousand jolt of electricity usually cures the most adoring boy toy.
    â€œBlue,” Izzy interrupted, “can I have a word?”
    â€œTooth decay,” I said with a grin. “There are two words. No extra