Collected Works of Poe, Vol 4

Free Collected Works of Poe, Vol 4 by Edgar Allan Poe

Book: Collected Works of Poe, Vol 4 by Edgar Allan Poe Read Free Book Online
Authors: Edgar Allan Poe
lately, matters have changed very much, as you see."
    "Yes -- have changed very much, as you see," here interrupted the gentleman who had broken the shins of Ma'm'selle Laplace.
    "Yes -- have changed very much, as you see!" chimed in the whole company at once.
    "Hold your tongues, every one of you!" said my host, in a great rage. Whereupon the whole company maintained a dead silence for nearly a minute. As for one lady, she obeyed Monsieur Maillard to the letter, and thrusting out her tongue, which was an excessively long one, held it very resignedly, with both hands, until the end of the entertainment.
    "And this gentlewoman," said I, to Monsieur Maillard, bending over and addressing him in a whisper -- "this good lady who has just spoken, and who gives us the cock-a-doodle-de-doo -- she, I presume, is harmless -- quite harmless, eh?"
    "Harmless!" ejaculated he, in unfeigned surprise, "why -- why, what can you mean?"
    "Only slightly touched?" said I, touching my head. "I take it for granted that she is not particularly not dangerously affected, eh?"
    "Mon dieu! what is it you imagine? This lady, my particular old friend Madame Joyeuse, is as absolutely sane as myself. She has her little eccentricities, to be sure -- but then, you know, all old women -- all very old women -- are more or less eccentric!"
    "To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure -- and then the rest of these ladies and gentlemen-"
    "Are my friends and keepers," interupted Monsieur Maillard, drawing himself up with hauteur, -- "my very good friends and assistants."
    "What! all of them?" I asked, -- "the women and all?"
    "Assuredly," he said, -- "we could not do at all without the women; they are the best lunatic nurses in the world; they have a way of their own, you know; their bright eyes have a marvellous effect; -- something like the fascination of the snake, you know."
    "To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure! They behave a little odd, eh? -- they are a little queer, eh? -- don't you think so?"
    "Odd! -- queer! -- why, do you really think so? We are not very prudish, to be sure, here in the South -- do pretty much as we please -- enjoy life, and all that sort of thing, you know-"
    "To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure."
    And then, perhaps, this Clos de Vougeot is a little heady, you know -- a little strong -- you understand, eh?"
    "To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure. By the bye, Monsieur, did I understand you to say that the system you have adopted, in place of the celebrated soothing system, was one of very rigorous severity?"
    "By no means. Our confinement is necessarily close; but the treatment -- the medical treatment, I mean -- is rather agreeable to the patients than otherwise."
    "And the new system is one of your own invention?"
    "Not altogether. Some portions of it are referable to Professor Tarr, of whom you have, necessarily, heard; and, again, there are modifications in my plan which I am happy to acknowledge as belonging of right to the celebrated Fether, with whom, if I mistake not, you have the honor of an intimate acquaintance."
    "I am quite ashamed to confess," I replied, "that I have never even heard the names of either gentleman before."
    "Good heavens!" ejaculated my host, drawing back his chair abruptly, and uplifting his hands. "I surely do not hear you aright! You did not intend to say, eh? that you had never heard either of the learned Doctor Tarr, or of the celebrated Professor Fether?"
    "I am forced to acknowledge my ignorance," I replied; "but the truth should be held inviolate above all things. Nevertheless, I feel humbled to the dust, not to be acquainted with the works of these, no doubt, extraordinary men. I will seek out their writings forthwith, and peruse them with deliberate care. Monsieur Maillard, you have really -- I must confess it -- you have really -- made me ashamed of myself!"
    And this was the fact.
    "Say no more, my good young friend," he said kindly, pressing my hand, -- "join me now in a glass of Sauterne."
    We drank.

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