Free Sex with the Ex by Tyne O’Connell

best will in the world, guests make their own minds up.
    Which wasn’t going to be a problem with tonight’s party. Quite the opposite. In fact, I had to make sure we were going to be able to close off the garden to members in the event that David’s (Bowie) guests decided to spill out. I pulled out my Blackberry wireless organizer and made a note.
    Josie was still continuing her marriage-martyr act. “It feels like a prison sometimes. Every night the same man spooning me. Every morning the same man making love to me. Every day the same e-mails reminding me that the same man loves me more than life itself.” She was laughing while Clemmie and I mimed violins.
    Jean was getting restless and even in the darkness of the bar I was aware that the staff might get suspicious, so I made a move to leave as I spotted Elizabeth coming in.And then Clemmie, dear sweet serious-minded, scrupulously honest Clemmie blew my cover. “Did you tell Josie about calling Richard?” she asked, licking her swizzle stick.
    â€œYou are joking?” Josie demanded in a voice that suggested that if I wasn’t, she was going to punish me in cruel and unusual ways.
    I looked her in the eye. “Look, you got back together with Emmanuel and now you’re brilliantly happy. Who’s to say the same won’t happen with Richard and me?”
    â€œEmmanuel and I dated in high school. It’s completely different. You’ve got history with Richard. You tried marriage and mortgages and all the rest of the deal and you couldn’t make that work—not even for a year!”
    â€œBut that’s my point, maybe I didn’t give it time to work.”
    Elizabeth arrived and asked suspiciously, “Time for what to work?” as she slumped down into the booth beside me.
    â€œI just think I might have made a mistake with Richard.”
    â€œTrust me, you didn’t. Did you order for me?” she asked as if that should be the end of the discussion.
    â€œThat’s so unfair. What about you and Mike?”
    â€œExactly, let me be your example. Sex with the ex ruins you. Do you want to end up like me? One year later and still no rebound guy?”
    â€œI’m not talking about sex,” I cried out louder than I meant to. “I’m talking about love. About lifetime commitment, about passion.”
    Why couldn’t anyone understand me? I was thinking at the time.
    â€œHave you been taking Kitty’s pills?” Elizabeth asked, looking deeply into my eyes.
    â€œIt’s true,” said Clemmie. “You are sounding a bit mad.”
    â€œLook,” said Elizabeth, pulling the comb out of her hairand shaking her long black mane down her back. “You can have sex with the ex but you can’t turn the clock back.”
    â€œWhy not? My parents have.”
    â€œYour parents, in case you haven’t noticed recently, are bonkers. They tortured each other and you with their marriages and remarriages. It’s completely different.”
    â€œWhy?” I persisted.
    â€œKitty and Martin have an overdeveloped sense of drama,” Clemmie explained sweetly, touching my arm. “You’re more or less normal.”
    Then Elizabeth added, “Normalish,” and everyone started to laugh.
    I swirled the ice and lemon around my water with the swizzle stick grumpily.
    Clemmie and Josie sipped their drinks, neither of them looked that interested in taking the conversation further. Clemmie grabbed a handful of bar snacks from the tray and poured them into her mouth. “Would Jean like a Twiglet?” she offered.
    â€œNo, they’re really bad for her.” I covered Jean’s bag protectively with my hand.
    Clemmie rolled her eyes. “So is living in a YSL handbag but she seems happy enough with that arrangement. Go on, don’t be such a bore, let her have a little treat.”
    Before I could stop her she’d slipped a Twiglet into