Free Murder With Peacocks by Donna Andrews

bird," Mrs. Grover said, in a disparaging tone.
      "Children are devoted to their pets," I said.
    "Not exactly a normal sort of pet, though, is it?" she said, in a slimy, insinuating tone that seemed to imply that most arsonists and ax murderers started on the road to ruin through unnatural attachments to waterfowl.
      "They have a number of dogs, too," I said, defensively. "But only one Duck."
      "Yes, and I rather think we can keep it that way, don't you?" Mrs. Grover said, and before I realized what she was doing, deliberately squashed Duck's egg with the heel of her shoe.
      "Don't! Eric's pet laid that!"
      "Ugh," she said, as the contents of the egg splattered her foot. "The nasty thing is all over me."
      "Well, what did you expect? Did you think ducks laid hard-boiled eggs? Don't touch that!" I said, swatting her hand away as she reached to strip a clump of leaves off one of Professor Donleavy's more fragile tropical bushes. "Don't touch any of the bushes; hasn't Dad warned you about all the galloping skin rashes you can get from the foliage around here?"
      "Then get me some napkins," she ordered, shaking her foot and spattering me with droplets of egg, while scrubbing her hand on her dress.
      "Get your own napkins," I snapped. "And don't let Eric see you. We're going to have a hard enough time explaining why the egg's gone; you have no idea how upset he'll be if he sees you with egg all over your foot."
      I snagged a few napkins from the buffet table, cleaned the splatters of egg off my dress as best I could, and retreated to the opposite side of the yard to fume.
      "What's wrong, Meg?" Michael asked, appearing at my elbow. I jumped.
      "Don't sneak up on me like that!" I said.
      "Especially when I'm already feeling guilty about contemplating homicide."
      "Really," he said, handing me a fresh glass of wine. "Who's the intended victim?"
      "Mrs. Grover."
      "You may have to stand in line," he replied. "What's she done to you?"
      "She deliberately smashed Duck's latest egg. I know it's trivial, but she very nearly did it in front of Eric, and you saw how upset he was at the very idea of something happening to the first egg. It was just so ..."
      "Cold," Michael said. "Very cold. I know exactly how you feel. She sets my teeth on edge."
      "Who's that?" asked Dad appearing so suddenly that I jumped again. "Goodness, you're nervous today, Meg."
      "That's understandable," Michael said. "She's contemplating homicide."
      "Mrs. Grover, of course," Dad said, nodding. "I do hope she won't come to visit often when they're married. I hate to think of Margaret having to put up with her all the time."
      "Mother's probably the only one of us who's a match for her," I said.
      "Meg!" Dad exclaimed. "Your mother is nothing like Mrs. Grover!"
      "I didn't say she was like her," I protested. "I said she was a match for her. As in, I defy Mrs. Grover to get Mother's goat the way she's getting to everyone else around here."
      "Your mother feels things more than she shows sometimes," Dad said, reprovingly. "I plan to do whatever I can to see that she doesn't have Mrs. Grover on her hands any more than necessary this summer. She doesn't need that with everything else she has to do to get ready for the wedding."
      "All the things she's doing!" I began, but before I could get much further, Dad had trotted off.
      "He looks like a man with a purpose," Michael remarked.
      "Yes, but what purpose, I have no idea," I said. "Not to rescue Mother, certainly. Mrs. Grover seems to have latched on to Barry at the moment, and I'm all for letting him go unrescued for as long as possible."
      "Amen," said Michael.
        In fact, I was definitely hoping no one would interrupt Mrs. Grover's tete-a-tete with Barry, since she seemed to be accomplishing the hitherto unknown feat of getting him hot under the collar. He was frowning and getting very red in the face; you could almost see the steam pouring out of his ears.