Free Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating by Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider Page B

what do you like to do when you’re not working?
    Her: Rent movies, work out, meet friends…
    Him: Did you see the latest Mission Impossible? It was great.
    Her: Yes! I really like Tom Cruise, he’s so funny.
    Him: I’m burnt out here. I’m talking to some headhunters.
    Her: Good luck! My boss just walked in…
    Him: OK let’s make plans.
    Her: Sounds good!
    Although the hunky realtor spoke to Sara first, got her number, and texted her first, and her
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-y responses were properly timed and shorter than his, this was a case of text chatting gone wild. We told her that at this point, the only way he would ask her out was if she ignored his texts completely. She was shocked. “I thought I was allowed to text a little. Isn’t ignoring him rude?” No, it’s not rude—you’re just busy and have a life. If a guy wants to ask all these questions about LA and movies, he can ask over sushi!
    Sara agreed to try it. The next morning when cute realtor texted, “Hey, how’s your day going?” she didn’t write back. When he texted later that afternoon, “Meeting withheadhunter. Wish me luck!” she ignored it. That night he texted “What r u up to?” she ignored it again. The next morning he finally texted, “Hey there stranger, maybe we can meet for sushi this weekend.” She waited two hours and wrote back, “Sure, that sounds good!” Two minutes later he asked, “How is Friday night after work?” And thirty minutes after that she wrote, “Perfect.” And that was it. They finally had a first date and many dates after that.
    If a guy is texting but not asking you out, you have to cut him off until he gets that you are too busy to just chat endlessly. This freezing-him-out plan is not about playing games but about boundaries, self-esteem, and self-worth. Men will eat up your time if you let them! Many women waste hours or days politely texting guys back throughout the day, yet find themselves dateless on Saturday night.
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Girls don’t put up with aimless chitchat. Remember, the point of texting a guy back is to get a date or to be in a relationship—not to talk all day. But what if a guy stops texting you and never asks you out because you didn’t answer every text? Did you do anything wrong? No, he just wasn’t that crazy about you to begin with—he’s a time waster. Next!
    We know that waiting won’t always be easy. In fact, it might even get harder when you are in a relationship and he knows your schedule or sees that you answer your girlfriends’ texts in two minutes! When you are with him, we suggest leaving your phone in your bag and not holding it in your hand all night, so he doesn’t think you are glued to it. Don’t show any interest in your phone or become animated or giddy and say, “Oh my G-d my BFF just posted the funniest photo” when you get a text. If you want to make it seem plausible that you are slow to reply, then don’t seem obsessed with your phone.
    We are not telling you to be disingenuous, but if you want a guy to stare at his phone wondering when you are going to text him back, if you want a guy to dream about you and think about what you are doing when you are not with him, and if you want a guy’s heart to pound while waiting for you to text him back, then don’t answer him so fast. Making him wait to hear from you will make him think about you
more
, not less. And isn’t that what you want?

Rule #7 ____________
TTYL: Always End Everything First—Get Out of There!
    I N OUR FIRST book, we told you to end phone calls first, within ten minutes. The same
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applies to every new form of communication that has cropped up since then, and to dates, too. We call it “getting out of there.” Why? So you don’t talk too much, and leave him wanting more! Remember that sometimes reverse psychology works best. If you want more from a guy, give him less. The busier you seem to be, the more curious or interested he’ll become.
    While any of this newfangled—or