Free William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return by Ian Doescher Page A

be on Endor, say?
    And wherefore was he there? Do we yet know?
    GUARD 2
    How he hath landed there is yet beyond
    Our knowing. He hath said he was alone.
    GUARD 1
    And hath he been believ’d?
    GUARD 2
    —Nay, we have not
    Our senses quite forgot. Pray, give our men
    An ounce of credit, lad. Our scouts do search
    For his accomplices e’en now.
    GUARD 1
    —’Tis well.
    GUARD 2
    Forsooth, the Empire soon shall triumph.
    GUARD 1
    —But . . .
    GUARD 2
    Alas, my friend, what troubles thee? Why dost
    Thou speak this “but”? Why “but”? What “but”?
    GUARD 1
    —Hast thou
    Read the descriptions of the Endor moon?
    GUARD 2
    I have, for we were order’d so to do.
    GUARD 1
    Then thou hast heard about the creatures there.
    GUARD 2
    Mean’st thou the native population that
    Was deemèd insignificant?
    GUARD 1
    —Indeed.
    The full report hath said that they are arm’d.
    GUARD 2
    But with such sticks and rocks as would not harm
    A womp rat, and much less an AT-AT. Thou
    Wilt not fear armies made of twigs. ’Tis true?
    GUARD 1
    Perhaps, yet follow on: it seems that there
    Are rebels on the forest moon, who now
    Have hidden, and we know not where. What if
    These rebels were to meet the creatures, band
    Together, crush the bunker that controls
    The shield that watcheth o’er the Death Star, then
    Coordinate a wing’d assault, which would
    Destroy this battle station and—still more—
    Deliver our dread Emperor and Lord
    Darth Vader unto their untimely deaths?
    Could not just such a chain of dire events
    Defeat the Empire strong in one fell swoop?
    GUARD 2
    Thou shouldst not be a guard, my friend, for thou
    Art suited for a life of fantasy.
    Thou shouldst a writer be of stories grand
    Wherein a group of men and simple beasts
    Do overthrow an Empire powerful.
    O, it doth break upon my sight: my friend,
    The ancient storyteller he, who weaves
    His tales to bring delight to all who hear.
    GUARD 1
    Thou mockest me.
    GUARD 2
    —Well notic’d! Mark me now:
    Thy fears all rest upon a tiny word,
    A word so small it should not give thee cause
    To fret and worry so: that word is “if.”
    “If” there were rebels on the forest moon,
    “If” they did meet with creatures and form pacts,
    “If” then they could our bunker strong destroy,
    “If” they had plann’d to strike our Death Star great.
    Thine “if” itself the Empire overthrows,
    But “if” knows little of reality.
    I tell thee true, if I had richer been,
    If I had been a politician’s son,
    If I were rais’d in wealth and privilege,
    If I myself became most powerful,
    Why then, I would be Emperor, not guard!
    But for the “ifs.”
    GUARD 1
    —Thy point is made, and I
    Shall rest my “ifs” and be at ease. Now, if
    Thou shalt come with me, we have both been call’d
    To rearrange the chairs upon the deck.
    GUARD 2
    If thou shalt lead, I’ll follow, worthy friend.
    [Exeunt.
    Enter
E MPEROR P ALPATINE
on balcony, with
ROYAL GUARDS .
    EMPEROR
    Our age is but a constant grasp for pow’r,
    A time when trust and honor are no more
    And all is but a furious race till death.
    How doth a person make a life that’s worth
    The living? Is’t by love or ventures? Nay:
    The one who hath the greatest pow’r prevails.
    The politicians grumble, scrape, and grab,
    A’fighting o’er their spheres of influence,
    The people cringe and whimper ’neath the loads
    Plac’d on them by those in authority,
    And all in bleak timidity do cow’r
    When in the presence of their Emperor.
    O what a piece of work are we! I should
    Find joy in our humanity, and yet,
    To me, what is this quintessence of dust?
    A galaxy of vermin searching for
    A crumb of what the best do eat, all rul’d
    By those who have the appetite for pow’r—
    For in a world of darkness only those
    Who serve the dark deserve to live and thrive.
    Let those naïve and wayward souls who seek
    For justice, wisdom, honesty, and right
    Endure such suffering as fits their weak
    And simple souls. Let those who love