Free Memoirs of an Immortal Life by Candace L Bowser Page A

beloved for taking her own life rather than fall into the hands of Godless men and be left unclean? My anger still precedes me as I write. I will never find forgiveness for myself, for I cannot find forgiveness for Ahbrim and his condemnation of her. I have no love left in my heart for him, nor for the God he serves. I know it is wrong and brings about my condemnation. I no longer care. I stopped caring the moment she left this world.
     

     
    10 June 1467
     
    Matthias visited early this morn. He was more nervous than usual in my presence, pacing about as though he wished to speak, but had not the courage.
    “Say what it is you wish to say and stop pacing. The sound alone is deafening,” I screamed at him.
    “Pope Pios sends Vedesti and Ahbrim for your last rites, Baserab.”
    The anger welled in my face as I looked at him.
    “How dare you allow him to be in my presence after what he has done? Until my last breath is taken, I am still the Viovode of Wallachia.”
    My voice hissed from my body in despondent tones as though it were not my own. Matthias grew filled with fear, so deeply he could not breathe as he stood before me. The hair around his temples whitened as I laughed at him.
    “It is the only way, Vladimir, for them to believe that all is as I have said.”
    My laughter was wicked as I rolled my fingers at Matthias, beckoning him across the floor till he stood only inches from me.
    “You think him so naïve he does not know? Ahbrim knows what I am, cousin. He has seen it firsthand. He comes to kill me. It is the manner in which he believes he can save my eternal soul. Make quick my replacement, Matthias, for I have grown weary of your company and my temper now grows.”
    I sit here now as the light fades awaiting darkness. I will return to Poenari and wait for the moment my revenge shall be granted.

     
    Ahbrim Baserab’s Journal
    10 June 1467
    The Road to Corvinus Castle
     
    I have witnessed the horrors of Vladimir’s transformation, first at the hands of the Turks, then at his own hand. The darkness of his soul is deep, so deep I fear I may never be able to reach the light, which once resided there. My letters returned unopened; his refusal is adamant at my request to see him or consul him. Vladimir’s anger toward Elisabeta’s choice he holds against me and me alone, as though I am responsible. It was her actions alone that forbid her entrance to the Gates of Heaven, not mine, nor those of any other Priest in my charge at Poenari, yet he holds us responsible. I cannot open his heart to accept it is the will of God, not my own.
    Mordecai has made many visits to Matthias, none of which were well received. He is as disagreeable and willful as Vladimir, it would seem. Matthias is not pleased with the arrangement made between the Turks and the ruling Boyars. They wish to place an Ottoman on the throne as Viovode, the son of Radu. I fear he is not long for this world. Matthias will no doubt orchestrate an assassination that will not be able to be associated with his involvement. He is loyal to the Order to the end. I have no doubt he will arrange for Vladimir to escape.
    Come first light, Mordecai and I shall travel to the House of Corvinus to offer last rights to Vladimir. I am sure I will be met with refusal, but still offer I must. He was my responsibility, and it was I alone that failed him.
     

    14 June 1467
     
    We arrived at the House of Corvinus late in the evening. Matthias was cold and unwavering in his greeting. He still believes the agreement Mordecai made to be against the will of the House of Baserab. I attempted at length to reason with him but he is most unreasonable. He feels Vladimir has been wronged. I cannot say I do not disagree, but given his choices and his willingness to turn away from God, he has chosen his own punishment.
    Vladimir refused to speak to me upon our arrival. He said there were no words left between us. His was mood exceptionally foul as Mordecai read. I expected him