Free Girlvert: A Porno Memoir by Oriana Small

been strictly cocaine and zero-calorie soda.
    Nobody else seemed to be affected by any of this. For me, it was the end of the world. Tyler had never even seen me poop at home. Now, in front of ten strangers and my boyfriend, I had a piece of shit come out of my ass. I can’t think of any other situation in which shitting in front of a group of people is part of the norm. Shit is an everyday occurrence in porn. But when it comes out unexpectedly during sex in front of an audience for the first time, it’s the most unwanted thing, ever. It’s so crushing. I think I really finally understood the true and entire meaning of the word humility. No longer did I feel like this little “sex star,” but instead a lowly human being. The fantasy I had built up around what I was doing, and the fictitious person I pretended to be, came to a screeching halt when the poop appeared.
    Now, I really love seeing poop. It fascinates me. When it comes out of other girls during their sex scenes, it’s interesting. As long as it’s just a little bit. Something about an unexpected and small amount of feces makes me feel like what I’m watching is real. You can’t fake a turd like you can an orgasm.
    I returned to the scene. I told them all I was too sore to do any more anal. They all saw the poop. I knew that. I also knew that they had all probably seen worse. I was being lame, acting like it never happened. Too sore , that was the story and I stuck to it. I apologized for it, and we went on to the pop shot.
    After the scene was finished and we had hung around long enough to make new friends, we got in my car to leave. We were fifteen hundred dollars wealthier once again. As I drove the car, I thought, Screw the poo, this porno stuff is so damn easy! It felt pretty good to be doing this full-time. I wanted to get better at it. I needed to practice doing enemas and keep working on getting used to some insanely big cocks in my ass. This could be something I could do really well, I thought. Tyler sat next to me in the passenger side with his shirt off. He went shirtless a lot. He had a good body and he knew it. But he looked unusually red. His face was really flushed and his eyes were more spacey than normal. His hands were feeling around on his chest. Alarmed, I asked, “What’s the matter, Tyler? What’s wrong, are you still fucked up?” I wasn’t anymore. I’d finished the coke by the end of the shoot.
    “No, I’m not okay. I don’t know. I just feel high, really high. Like I’m on some kind of super speed. My heart is beating so fast and hard. I am so fucked up. I think it was that pill.”
    Tyler grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I didn’t know what to do. He was running so hot. I had the air conditioner on, his shirt was off, and he never wore underwear. I panicked. His pants were unbuttoned. “Look,” he managed a crippled laugh and pointed to his cock. He pulled it out of his pants and it was cement hard. It was all red and looking like it was ready to lift off into outer space. He just held his cock out of his jeans all the way down the freeway. It mesmerized him. He was in awe of his penis and all its Viagra glory. His heart palpitations and other symptoms of cardiac arrest persisted but took a back-burner to the miracle between his legs.
    “Isn’t that stuff for older people? Like for guys in their thirties? You are only twenty-five! You don’t need to take it.” I had an ex-boyfriend who took Viagra, and he was in his mid-thirties. Little did I know it was actually for guys in their sixties. I didn’t tell Tyler I’d seen the pill used before because it was the guy I’d cheated on him with. “What are you going to do? Why is it still hard? You came over an hour ago.” He didn’t answer. The look on his face told me the entire plan.
    As soon as we got back to the apartment, I was on my knees blowing him. He came in my mouth. Then we fucked and I blew him again. The boner lasted all night. It withstood an entire