Free A Part of Me by Taryn Plendl

If I thought I was broken before, I had no idea.  I wasn’t just broken, I was completely destroyed—obliterated, with nothing left but an empty shell. 
    Who was this person I had become? I wasn’t even sure I recognized myself anymore.  Every time I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I just wanted to punch the glass. 
    Some of the boys from the soccer team stopped by to visit, but after sitting with me through a very strained and awkward conversation, they left.
    I hadn’t been sleeping well, and I had an issue with the phantom pain again last night and had sat there grinding my teeth and rocking until I finally fell back asleep.  I was a complete and utter mess.
    Nick had taken me to the doctor today for a follow up and they put me on an antidepressant.  Apparently I seemed depressed.  They also said it might help the phantom pain in my stump, and at this point I was willing to try just about anything.
    Fortunately with school being out now, I had the next three months to get my shit together before returning to school.  At this point I couldn’t even imagine it.  I hated even leaving the house for doctor appointments.  I hated feeling like people were staring at me wherever I went.  I looked pathetic rolling around with this stupid knee walker, and I hated every second of it.
    “Hey.”  Trevor walked into the living room and sat down next to me on the couch.
    “Hey.”  I tried to smile, but it didn’t reach my eyes.
    “I saw Nick on the way out.  He said the doctor appointment went well.” 
    I shrugged.  “I guess.”
    “Um, Talia called Ava and asked her to let one of us know that you had an appointment on Monday to get your cast removed.”  My heart jumped at the sound of her name and then I felt like crap knowing that she was still looking out for me.
    “I forgot about that.  I can’t wait to have it off.”  I smiled slightly at the thought.
    “Well, Nick and I can’t take you.  Neither of us can get away on Monday, so I asked Ava and she said no problem.”  I could tell he was studying my response.  I didn’t want him to think I had a problem with Ava.  In fact, I didn’t really have a problem with Talia either.  My problem was with myself.
    “Okay.  Thanks Trevor.  Tell Ava thank you.”  I smiled again, but it felt so forced.
    “I will.  Hey Tom?”  I looked at Trevor, his face so serious.  “You know you are stronger than anyone I know?”  I shook my head.  “Don’t.”  He held his hand up.  “You have been through a lot, first with the loss of your parents and now the accident, but even through all of that, I never thought of you as someone who would just give up.  You’re better than that.  Courage does not just mean that you possess the strength to carry on, it means that you will carry on when you feel that you no longer even have the strength.”  He patted my leg and stood up.  I heard the door open and close as he left me there alone to think about what he had just said. 
    How did my friends always know just what to say to me?
     
     

 
    Chapter 13
     
    Talia
    It was my first day off after being back to work and I was exhausted.  I was working three twelve hour days now and although they were long day, it was nice to have four days off, even if I had to take a shift of call here and there.
    I had called and asked to come back early after I’d left Tom’s.  There was no point in me sitting around doing nothing and using what little bit of vacation time I had left.
    I had barely slipped my shoes off when my phone rang.  “Hey.”  I answered when I saw Ava’s number. 
    “Out of curiosity, I entered the word sexy bitch into my GPS just to see what happened and guess what? Pull the wine out princess, because I'm outside your place.” 
    I giggled at her.  “You’re crazy.  Come on up.”  I hung up the phone and went to unlock the door.
    Ava came in with Chinese take-out and I could have kissed her.  “You see, this is