Free Adorkable by Sarra Manning

me.
    ‘Oh, I thought you’d already gone,’ said his mum without any attempt to sound sincere. I had to admire her barefaced rudeness. ‘Jeane’s here.’
    ‘What do
you
want?’ Barney demanded, as he picked himself off the carpet, then grabbed bag and parka. ‘You’ve got a nerve.’
    ‘I know,’ I said, standing aside as Barney brushed past his mother, who tried in vain to kiss him goodbye. ‘Bye, Mrs M. Lovely to see you again,’ I cooed, because I knew it would piss her off. Then I climbed back on Mary, my bike (named for Mary Kingsley, famous Victorian explorer), and pedalled after Barney, who was running down the road.
    ‘You can’t get away from me that easily,’ I said, as I steered myself into the road. ‘I know you’re really pissed off with me, though I’m not sure if it’s about what I said yesterday or if it’s because you read my blog, or—’
    ‘Orbecause you never listen to what I’m saying because you’re too busy making everything about you.’ Barney shook his head in disgust. ‘There’s so many reasons why I’m pissed off with you that it’s hard to pick just one.’
    ‘Well, if it helps in any way, I’m sorry for all of those things,’ I assured him, then I had to pause to do an illegal left turn. ‘It’s very hard to be a good listener when you talk as much as I do.’
    ‘Will you take down the blog?’ Barney asked. He didn’t seem like he was ready to forgive me, but at least he was still talking to me.
    ‘No, I can’t do that. I’m entitled to have those feelings and blog about them, but I will take your name off the post,’ I conceded. ‘I don’t ever self-censor. This is huge for me.’
    ‘Yeah, well, the stuff you wrote was well out of order.’
    ‘And what you did was out of order too,’ I pointed out. ‘I had to find out from Michael Lee. Michael fucking Lee. If you’d told me from the start, yeah, I’d have given you a hard time, but I wouldn’t have turned into a complete ranting maniac. So for that, I’m sorry.’
    ‘I heard you the first time,’ Barney snapped. I was forced to slow down as we were a couple of streets away from school and the road was clogged up with people who were too lazy to walk and got lifts everywhere from their doting parents, then dared to complain about global warming. ‘Fine, I accept your apology.’
    Part of me wanted to remind Barney that he should apologise too but that would only lead us into another argument. Besides, there was another part of me that was hugely relieved that we’d never have to kiss on the lips for the count of fifty elephantsever again. Barney would make a much better friend than a boyfriend and I just had to suck up the humble pie.
    ‘So, are we, like, cool now?’ I asked.
    Barney came to a halt. ‘If I say we’re not cool, you’ll just badger and harass me until I change my mind, won’t you?’
    ‘I wouldn’t say harass, exactly.’ I had to admit defeat and get off my bike because there were too many cars at a standstill for me to get through. ‘But I won’t rest until I’ve made you see the error of your ways. You need me in your life because I’m a really good friend. I’ll make you mix CDs and cupcakes and find amazing comics in second-hand bookshops and … and … and I’ll even be nice to Scarlett. I’ll be the measure by which all other friends are judged and found unable to compare to my superior friend skills. What do you reckon, Barnster?’
    ‘Since when do you call me Barnster?’ Barney asked sourly, but he was wavering, I could tell. It was something in his eyes.
    ‘It’s the kind of nickname friends give each other.’ I tried out a cheeky grin, though there wasn’t much to grin about. I was still mad at Barney, not for crushing on Scarlett but for being such a dick about it, but I needed to get over it, because when he wasn’t being a dick, Barney was good people. ‘You can give me a nickname too.’
    ‘How about, um, Rage Against The