Free Audrey Exposed by Roxy Queen Page A

they’re supposed to go , but I think we’ve made progress.”
    “He thinks so , too,” she says. “He’s very impressed with your willingness to participate and how open you are about your fears.” Her comment clarifies that he talks to her after our sessions. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
    “He’s great. Very patient.”
    “How do you feel when he’s massaging your body?”
    “Good.” I shrug, feeling a little awkward talking about it. “He’s very thorough , but he always follows the guidelines you leave, so I trust him.”
    “Any other feelings? Like physical ones?”
    “Sometimes it tickles,” I laugh, thinking about the first time Graham found the spot inside my knee that sends me into a quivering mass of giggles.
    “Anything else?”
    I know what she’s getting at. Am I aroused during our sessions? The answer is yes, but it feels too personal to share. It’s something between Graham and me. We both get aroused; but so far, we have kept those stirrings to ourselves. I’ve seen the tenting in his pants. He’s surely noticed the raised, hard pebbles of my nipples. Without going into such detail, I say, “Yes. It feels good. Really good.”
    She nods and switches questions. “Do you feel like you’re ready to move forward?”
    “That depends, I guess. Where do we go from here?” I ask.
    “Currently you’re clothed, but in arm and leg revealing clothing. Graham has exposed your legs, arms, hands, feet, and neck. Are you ready to remove your shirt?”
    The burst of anxiety boils inside. I take a deep breath. “Naked? Or with my bra and underwear?”
    “Not naked. No. Just step-by-step.”
    “I think I would be ready to take off my shirt. I’m not sure about my shorts.” The thin layer of cotton over my panties feels like a protective double barrier between him and me. I’m not ready to give it up.
    Dr. Markson makes a note in her book. “I think that’s an appropriate next step , if you think you’re ready. And Audrey, please understand that each phase from here on out may take a while longer to work through the exposure. It may take days to get comfortable as you reveal yourself more and more. Frustration is going to become a common feeling.”
    “Trust me,” I say, looking out the window. “I’m quite used to feeling frustrated.”

 
     
    Chapter 13
    (Audrey)
     
    For two days, The Rocket (as I’ve come to name it) has sat in my bedside drawer wrapped in a towel, beneath three heavy textbooks. I had no plans on using it. In fact, I figured I would just lie at my next appointment with Dr. Markson. Like she’d know if I masturbated or not, right?
    Then , I met the girls for Sunday brunch, a bridesmaid meeting. Jessica’s wedding is six weeks away and everything needs to fall into place. Dresses, shoes, hotel reservations, airline tickets…that’s right, she’s having a destination wedding. Jessica’s wedding will take place on Cumberland Island, on the beach. We’ll take a private boat to the island and stay at the historic inn. It’s turned into this major event. Jessica’s father is a CEO at Coke, and nothing’s too good for his baby girl. Once the official planning has taken place and everyone has downed a couple of Bloody Marys, the focus turns once again to men and sex.
    Of course.
    “The rooms at the inn are very romantic,” Jessica says. She’s the only one that has been to the inn before. Reese went camping on the island once in the 8 th grade with her Girl Scout troop to see the wild horses, but she didn’t go to the inn. “Audrey, do you think you’ll bring a date?”
    I swallow the remainder of my drink. “I’m not sure. When do you need to know?”
    “In the next two weeks. If you don’t have a date it’s no big deal, I’ll just have you room with someone else. My niece is sixteen. I’m sure my sister will be happy to get her out of their room for the night.”
    Great , I think. Now I’m the babysitter. A different surge of panic rolls