Free 12bis Plum Lovin' by Janet Evanovich

tell you, but then I'd have to kill you…"
     
    "Tell me anyway."
     
    "I'd really rather not."
     
    "Great. Don't tell me. I'll get the story from Mrs. Beaner tomorrow."
     
    "Okay, I'll tell you," Diesel said, "but if you laugh, I swear I'll turn you into a toad."
     
    "You can't actually do that, can you?"
     
    "The better question is, would I? And the answer is, no."
     
    "About Beaner."
     
    Diesel washed a sandwich down with half a beer. "He can give you a rash."
     
    "A rash?"
     
    "Yep."
     
    "That's it?"
     
    "Sweetie pie, this isn't any ordinary rash. It's the mother of all rashes. It makes you itch everywhere. It's nonstop torture for anywhere from three days to three weeks. It's related to poison sumac and looks like hives. Doesn't necessarily leave scars unless you start carving yourself up with a knife because you can't stand the itching."
     
    "Wow."
     
    Diesel sunk low into the couch and closed his eyes. "Who am I trying to kid? It's a rash, for crying out loud. How bad can a rash be?" He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Used to be I tracked dangerous sexual deviants and insane despots. Last time I was here I disabled a guy who shut down the northeast power grid at Christmas. That's the kind of stuff you can get your teeth into." He sunk lower and groaned. "And now I'm hunting Mr. Itchy. Do you have any idea what this does for my image?"
     
    "It's not good?"
     
    "It's a nightmare. There's no way to even put a decent spin on it. Big bad Diesel is out to shut down a poor slob whose only claim to fame is his ability to give people hives."
     
    I burst out laughing. "I like it."
     
    I went to the kitchen and brought a bag of cookies back to Diesel. I opened the bag, and we each took a cookie and Bob got two.
     
    "How does he do it?" I asked Diesel. "Is this some kind of contact skin disease?"
     
    "I don't know how he does it. I've never actually seen it happen firsthand, but I know he can spread the rash without contact."
     
    "Maybe Beaner would give Annie a rash, and be done with it. Maybe he just needs to get it out of his system," I said to Diesel.
     
    Diesel shook his head. "He's nutso. He was stalking her, reinfecting her every chance he got. It was ugly. Annie had hives on top of hives."
     
    "Tell me more about Beaner."
     
    "He has some minor skills. He's good with mechanical things. Used to own a garage. Sold it last year and is sort of retired. Probably was driving his wife nuts hanging around the house. He's pretty much a normal guy with the exception of this rash thing. And until a week ago, it was completely undercover. People would break out in unexplained hives, and that was the end of it. When his wife left, and he decided Annie was responsible, he went public. For the first couple days it was just directed at Annie, but then he lost control and started lashing out at random people whenever he got angry."
     
    "Bummer."
     
    "Yeah, big whoopitydo. Anyway, I was told to shut him down."
     
    "You don't mean shut him down as in… permanently?"
     
    "Shut him down as in pull the plug on his power."
     
    "You can do that?"
     
    "I have ways."
     
    I was curious about those ways, but I didn't think he'd tell me. And probably it was better not to know, so I ate two more cookies and shoved off the couch. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."
     
    I woke up to the sun shining through the vertical crack in my bedroom curtain and a heavy arm draped across my chest. Diesel was sprawled next to me, looking more disreputable than ever with a four-day-old beard. Like I don't have enough problems with the men in my life, now I have a third guy crawling into my bed. Too much of a good thing. At least I was still wearing my pajamas. That was comforting.
     
    I eased away from Diesel, slithered from under the arm, and rolled out of bed. I grabbed some clean clothes, locked myself in the bathroom, and hopped into the shower. I had a full day ahead of me. Talk to Mrs. Beaner and check on