Free All She Wanted (2) by Nicole Deese

there for me during the
darkest time of my life—the night I almost lost my sister.
    When Tori crashed into his life
unexpectedly, I was none-too-pleased. I was leery of her—suspicious. Kai wasn’t
weak, but he trusted people to a degree I couldn’t understand. I felt it my place
to reveal her blind spots to him—to clue him in on the tragic mess that love
really was…only that wasn’t what happened.  
    Instead, I watched them battle through
hardship, hurt, and heartache. I watched them fight for each other—loving each
other with an intensity that I couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard I tried to.
      And
what I had seen, what I had witnessed, had slowly and painfully peeled back the
calloused layers of my heart.
    The life I had chosen had always felt right, until it didn’t anymore. Until
no amount of drinking, fighting, or sex could fix me, or the destruction I had caused.
    I had never loved any of the warm
bodies that had filled my bed. I didn’t know their likes, or their dreams, and
I certainly never knew their laughs. Women had only been a means to meet a need,
one that only pacified itself for so long before the emptiness found its way
back in.
    When it finally caught up to me: the past
I couldn’t escape, the shame I couldn’t hide, the truth I had to accept, I was
done living for the empty.

 
    **********

 
    I’d been sitting in my truck for nearly
ten minutes waiting for her to come out. I kept thinking that any second I would
see her open the front door with her greek yogurt in hand, but the only thing I saw was the minutes ticking by.
    Did she
feel awkward about what happened between us last night?
    Is she
avoiding me?
    I drummed my fingers on the steering
wheel. That moment had felt…intense, but I couldn’t even begin to analyze
Charlie. Who knew what she thought? I sure didn’t.
    I watched the clock for another five
minutes after shooting her a text.
    No response.
    Do I go
in?
    Do I
leave her and go without her?
    Why are
women so dang complicated?
    I turned off the engine, and knocked on
the front door. When there wasn’t an answer, I started to get a little bit freaked—or
a lot bit freaked. I snatched the key from my glove box that Chief had given me,
and walked inside a second later.
    Why do I
feel like I am in a constant state of deja vu with
this girl? What is this—my third time breaking and entering since I met her?
    Just as I opened my mouth to call her
name, I stopped short. There she was—asleep in her flannel pjs, on the couch.
    Why is
she sleeping on the couch?
    I wasn’t sure what to do at first; this
was a new conundrum for me. Finally, I did the only thing I could; I left,
shutting the door behind me quietly.
      And
then I rang the doorbell.
    Several times.
    In a row.
    To the beat of Jingle Bells .

Charlie
    Something hideous was clanging inside
my brain.
    My eyes snapped open as I covered my
ears in a panic, trying to understand what was happening.
    Jingle
Bells?
    I stumbled off the couch toward the
door, seeing a familiar silhouette beyond the fogged-glass. There was only one
person I knew who could match that level of annoying. I marched to the door and
jerked it open.
    “Oh hello, Shortcake! Welcome to the
land of the living.”
    “Did you get dropped on your head as a
kid? Or does this ,” I pointed to the
doorbell, “just come natural to you?”
    “Someone needs her coffee today,” he
mumbled, pushing past me to walk inside.
    “Oh—well, please come on in.” Though my
voice was no better than a croak, I hoped it still held the necessary dramatic
inflations.
    “Thanks, don’t mind if I do.” He looked
at the couch and then back at me, “Why were you sleeping down here?”
    “Wow, nosy and annoying...your list of qualities just keeps growing by the
minute.”
    He grinned as if I had just
complimented him, “Aw, stop…you’ll make me blush.”
    Rolling my eyes, I decided to let that
one go as I saw what time it was. “Can you give me twenty