Free If They Give You Lined Paper, Write Sideways by Daniel Quinn

certainly hasn't aroused any great controversy that I'm aware of, though I've had a few questions about it. One reader wrote, "I think I know of one right way for people to live, and that's letting everyone live the way they want to live." How would you reply to that?
    Elaine [ after some thought ]. I don't know.
    Daniel . Think about it over lunch. You have a tendency... This question comes from a certain frame of reference. You can't just accept that frame of reference without challenge. Put yourself in this person's mind and dig into his words. Then pull back away from it and see if it makes sense... It's like a negotiation, and this is his first offer: "I know of one right way for people to live, and that's letting everyone live the way they want to live." If you look closely at the terms of his offer, you'll see why it has to be rejected. What he's saying is nonsense. You have to formulate a counteroffer in your own terms, from your own frame of reference, then you'll have your reply.

Friday: Afternoon
    Daniel . So. What did you come up with?
    Elaine . Nothing, I'm afraid. I really don't see how to argue with what he's saying.
    Daniel [ after some thought ]. I've been thinking about your difficulties in a general way, and I hope that you won't be offended by my conclusion. It's certainly not an observation original to me that women in our society are generally expected to get along by being acquiescent, whereas men are expected to be assertive.
    Elaine . That's certainly true.
    Daniel . The reason you don't see how to argue with this person's proposition is that you've begun by acquiescing to it, by saying, "Yes, you seem to be making a lot of sense."
    Elaine . I guess that's true. I see his point, and I see some validity to it.
    Daniel . If we're going to make any progress here, I'm afraid you're going to have to resist the long-standing impulse to listen, nod, and acquiesce.
    Elaine . A lifetime in the schools will do that to you.
    Daniel . I understand completely, but it's time to begin fighting the impulse.
    Elaine . I know. I'll do my best.
    Daniel . In this case, what you have to do is turn the tables on this person. You understand the expression?
    Elaine . Turn the tables? Yes, of course.
    Daniel . What are "the tables"?
    Elaine . Oh. Well. That I don't know specifically.
    Daniel . Do you play chess?
    Elaine . Yes.
    Daniel . Turning the tables is the most aggressive chess move of all. If you're playing the black pieces and you see that your opponent has developed a winning position, you turn the table around so that you're now playing the white pieces and he's playing the black. You've usurped what appears to be his superior position.
    Elaine . Hardly a legal move.
    Daniel . No, but it's the origin of the expression. Right now the person who has made this statement about the right way to live seems to have a superior position. His statement seems to make sense. I want you to turn the tables on him and play his position.
    Elaine . How do I do that?
    Daniel . His proposition is: "The right way to A is to let everyone A the way they want to A." Substitute a B for his A. Any active verb.
    Elaine . Well, let's see... worship?
    Daniel . Try it and see.
    Elaine . The right way to worship is to let everyone worship the way they want to worship.
    Daniel . What do you think of it?
    Elaine . It doesn't make any sense. Letting everyone worship the way they want to worship is not a way to worship.
    Daniel . Try substituting a C.
    Elaine [ after a moment ]. The right way to dance is to let everyone dance the way they want to dance. That doesn't make any sense, either.
    Daniel . Why not?
    Elaine . Because letting everyone dance the way they want to dance is not a way to dance.
    Daniel . So what about the original statement?
    Elaine . It tells you one thing you should do, but it doesn't tell you how to live. Letting everyone live the way they want to live is not a way to live.
    Daniel . So it can hardly be the one right way to