Free Dads: A gay couple's surrogacy journey in India by Hans M. Hirschi

here we are. It's past 3 pm in Mumbai and I haven't heard anything yet. I might not until the blastocysts (normally three of them) are transferred into the surrogate on Friday, one of them hopefully is the future you! :)
    Keep your future fingers crossed that it all goes well and that your dad and I can take you into our arms sometimes mid-April next year…
     
    Love, Dad

 

July 27, 2012: Day 3 - Implantation
     
    If you thought day X was nerve-racking, today is worse…
    Today it all comes together.
    A little while ago, I actually did e-mail the clinic to ask them for an update on the progress, because I'm just such a nervous wreck. I mean, there are no guarantees that our first attempt will be successful. 
    All you have to do is google “unsuccessful IVF” or talk to friends who've undergone IVF treatment to understand how risky this is and how lucky you are if you're successful the first time.
    Now don't get me wrong, I am optimistic, and we have reason to be. Healthy egg donor, good sperm (LOL), and a healthy surrogate mother, combined with an excellent team of IVF doctors! Knocking on wood…
    Today is one of those big days in the history of your development, because today, at the age of three days, consisting of a full 8 cells, you look something along the lines of this:
     

     
    Today, you and two other embryos are going to be implanted into the womb of our surrogate. And that is where you'll be spending the next 40 weeks, provided you grab onto something and hold really tight.
    Because not all embryos that are implanted into a womb actually stay there. That is where the process usually goes haywire, because many embryos don't find a place nice and cozy to stick to and are being washed out again.
    This is what our surrogate is enduring for us today, and both your dad and I are thinking of her today. We are extremely grateful for the favor she is doing us. In fact, I have no words to describe what I feel for what she is doing for us, and no matter what so many out there think of this process, vilifying us for what we do, your father and I will be forever in her debt, and I sincerely hope, you will one day feel the same way.
    You may wonder, of course, how the embryos are selected for implantation.  What made the doctors choose YOU over your potential siblings in that petri dish? After all, it could mentally drive me nuts thinking that I'd have to choose between up to 20 potential kids. I found a couple of interesting articles online that might answer the question, although I am uncertain as to how the clinic in Mumbai does it:
     
    - Choosing the best embryos for transfer
    - How do we choose embryos for transfer
     
    I've read some of the posts on various blogs and forums and there really seems to be no scientific “best practice” (not even the articles above suggest one), so I'll just hope for the best, because in the end, I believe in the force of life. Not necessarily Star Wars midichlorians, but mother nature's powerful plan to keep this planet alive. I believe that if you want to become a part of our crazy little family with fish, cats and two loving dads, and all the people that are supporting us in this, then you'll hang on to the walls of that womb tightly, you'll continue to split your cells, and develop into a healthy child, and with a bit of luck, we'll be able to hold you in our arms sometimes in mid-April next year.
     
    Just hang in there for now!
     
    Love,
     
     
    Bappi

 

July 27, 2012: Setback before we got started…
     
    Hepp!
    Nope!
    Wasn't meant to be, quite yet…
    I just got a call from the agency in Mumbai. The egg retrieval was today. Eight eggs, but only five of them were viable. So they suggested we use some eggs from another donor who also 'delivered' (not sure this is the appropriate term?) today…
    Heart-broken and emotionally distressed, we have five minutes to make a decision.
    So here it is: we use the five eggs, hope for the best and use the others as back-up…
    So