Free Not Another Soldier by Samantha Holt Page B

haven’t dealt with… everything very
well.”
    “I know.”
    I raise an eyebrow. “You’re not going to make this
easy on me are you?”
    His lips twist into a wry smile. “Should I?”
    “I don’t know what you want from me, Nick, but I
really can’t offer much at the moment. I’m sorry I messed up and said some
stupid things. I didn’t express myself well. But I really need you as a friend
right now. I don’t want to lose that.” I put on my most imploring face.
“Please?”
    He shakes his head slowly as if he can’t believe he’s
even listening to me. “Damn it, don’t look at me like that.” His face relaxes
and I notice his grip loosen on the wheel slightly. “Of course we can be
friends. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let things slide. I do want more.
And I know you do too. I guess you’re just going to take some convincing.”
    Why oh why does that idea thrill me so much? I release
a little laugh but don’t argue. We’ve reached a kind of tentative peace and I
sense our usual bantery relationship slipping into place.
    “Don’t get your hopes up,” I say with a grin to try to
soften the blow. I mean it and feel like I have to say it but I don’t want to
break our truce.
    “Babe, you forget just how determined I can be. When I
want something, I get it.”
    Heat floods my face. I’m that something. Crap, I’m that
something. It sends thrills shooting through me even though I don’t want it to.
I study him out the corner of my eye. He’s in sweat pants and a tight T-shirt.
Workout clothes probably. His blond hair is slightly messy as if he’s ruffled a
towel over it. God, things would be a lot easier if he wasn’t so sexy.
    For want of something to say, I tug my cell out my
handbag. “I’m just going to call my boss.” I frown. “Didn’t you leave your car
at the hospital?”
    “Yeah, I walked.”
    “Walked? It’s like miles.”
    He shrugs. “Let’s just say I needed to burn off some
frustration.”
    I laugh but it’s cut short by the hungry look in his
eyes. I turn away before he can see my reaction to it. My whole body feels
alive with sensation and it’s like I can remember every touch from this
morning. How is it possible for one look to do such a thing?
    ***
    By the time I’ve called my boss and we’ve driven home,
things feel almost back to normal. Nick still seems tense but is at least
talking to me. I’m beginning to think all this was just a coincidence. Attacked
and almost arrested on the same day. Weird coincidence, but maybe I was just in
the wrong place at the wrong time. Security never saw my attacker and no one
else had any problems.
    Thankfully my boss had heard of the attack and was
feeling sympathetic enough to let me have the rest of the night off. We have
two beds free for a change which probably helped, though I bet they’ll be
filled by the time I go back to work in two days’ time.
    It’s dark in the car but I can almost feel Nick’s gaze
intent on me.
    Did he really mean it? That he wouldn’t give up?
Surely he can see it’s not worth his time. I don’t feel like I’m worth anyone’s
time really. I’m not the fun, interesting girl I used to be. Rob, and the
military life, took care of that. Having your life controlled from every angle
does tend to suck everything from you. Problem is, there’s a small part of me
that thinks I might just give in to him one day. That I won’t be able to fight
my need for him. 
    But I can’t want him. I keep reminding myself of what
it was like. Never quite knowing where you stand, moving away from your friends
and home yet again. And the loneliness.
    We pull up into my parking spot and sit for a
moment.  My heart does a little jump. Nerves or excitement? I don’t know.
Nick’s presence has a way of making me feel as if I’m always on alert.
    “Thanks for coming to get me. I know… I know I pissed
you off and I really appreciate you helping me out. I’m-I’m not sure what I
would have done