Free You're Always in the Last Place You Look by T.N. Gates

disappeared. “Good luck today.”
    “Yeah...thanks,” I said quietly to his retreating back. Dammit . I slammed the door and winced. How stupid could I be ? I fumbled around in the drawer until I found a bottle of Tylenol. Of course he had a crush on fucking jackass Chuck. Everybody did. Well, except me. But then Chuck hated me, and would sooner turn me into hamburger than talk to me. I slammed the drawer shut, hissing and closing my eyes tight. I needed to quit slamming things.
    *
    “Are you sure you’re okay?” Tye asked for the twentieth time.
    “Would you quit asking me that? I’m fine,” I said through stiff lips. I squeezed AJ into a lope, feeling out my rope, and warming up my shoulder. Someone’s Aussie ran in front of AJ after a ball, and he crowhopped. I jabbed him hard with my spurs, yelling, “Knock it off.” The second he grunted and threw his ears back I almost crumbled. What was I doing? I brought him back to a walk, all the while stroking his neck. I was being snappy to Tye, and rough with AJ, neither of whom deserved it.
    Zane wasn’t mine. He’d just crashed on my spare bed. Even so, I couldn’t believe how angry I became when I caught sight of him letting a buckle bunny rub herself, not to mention her lips, all over him. Maybe if he had looked even a little miserable—but no, he had been laughing, and snuggling her back. I didn’t even have the luxury of feeling used since nothing had happened between us.
    “We’re third out.” Tye dismounted Gator, and came over. His hands took hold of my leg as he gave me a stern look. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need to stop. I know AJ didn’t deserve this.” He yanked my foot from the stirrup, then unbuckled my spur. I bent over, moaning when I saw the slice across his ribs. I did crumble then. Tears escaped, rolling down my face while I bit down on my trembling lips.
    I tossed myself out of the saddle so I could inspect the cut my spur had made. It wouldn’t need stitches, but it was easily a few inches long. I buried my face into AJ’s red mane.
    “I’m sorry, buddy.” If he bucked me off during our run I deserved it. He trusted me, and in just one week I had betrayed that trust—twice.
    “Enough blubbering. Give me your other spur.”
    I leaned down, unbuckled it, and handed it off to Tye without a word. If I couldn’t hold on to my anger then I shouldn’t be wearing them. My father had taught both me and Tye that.
    “I’ll drop them at your trailer, and then meet you at the gate. You need to pull yourself together for five minutes. After that you can have your breakdown or whatever.”
    Wiping my eyes with my sleeve, I nodded. Tye clapped my shoulder before swinging onto Gator. I straightened AJ’s forelock, pulling it under his browband.
    “Are we good?” Scrubbing his star with my fingers, I then wiped all the white hair I’d loosened off his face. He finally butted me with his muzzle. “All right then. Let’s go get that steer.” I mounted, and he wheeled around before I even had my other stirrup. Sniffling back the last of my ramshackle emotions, I let him prance to the arena, ever thankful he had found it in himself to forgive me.

 
    Chapter Eight
     
    I tucked my chin and our calf was loosed. I threw over the corner of the chute in a gutsy move that I hoped would pay off. My loop appeared to be coming down long, so I gave a smooth tug, landing it over the bald-face calf’s eyes. The steer ducked, I jerked, wrapping the rope around my horn. AJ did his job, swinging sideways while I kept my eye on Tye. His rope left his hand, dropping low quick, and he yanked, and dallied. We were both smiling as we faced up. In unison we glanced at the chute a mere thirty feet away, and bowed our heads. Damn . I’d broken the barrier. Our four-five just became a fourteen-five.
    I didn’t want to stay and watch our massacre, but Tye insisted. After a second place finish yesterday, eleventh or twelfth was