Free Air Kisses by Zoe Foster

had an off button for that.
    ‘It’s pretty full-on,’ I continued. ‘People definitely scrutinise you. Especially what you wear, which, as I’m in beauty, not fashion, kind of spins me out.’
    ‘Tough crowd. Sounds like you need a BA in Costume Design. But as long as you’re enjoying it for now, Han. We all know you’re destined for bigger and better adventures.’
    ‘We do?’
    ‘Of course. I see you maybe on TV one day, or writing books. Have you thought about moving overseas? Or is that a no-go because of Jesse’s job?’
    What? Why hadn’t Iz told him? ‘Actually, Dec, we split a few weeks ago.’
    ‘Oh, Hannah, that’s awful… I’ve just been through the same thing. Not nice at all.’ He looked down and scuffed his foot on the table leg.
    ‘Really? With Pia?’ I feigned surprise, although even I wasn’t buying it. But Dec wasn’t looking at my face; he was still looking at his feet, the way people do when they are really sad about something. Like losing their gorgeous model girlfriend.
    ‘Dec, I’m so sorry.’
    He looked up and exhaled. ‘No, it’s for the best. You never find yourself fully while you’re in a relationship, don’t you think? Unless, well, unless the other person has already found themself.’
    I nodded in a deep way, with my eyes squinted so I looked intelligent. Truth was I had no idea what he meant. I hadn’t found anything post-break-up, except that my body was much more tolerant to drinking than I’d ever suspected it could be.
    ‘So, have you been having fun since you’ve been single, Han? I’m sure the men have been filling up your various inboxes with fervour?’
    I blushed. Again. What was
wrong
with me?
    ‘No, no, gosh. Not at all.’
    Not the
greatest
response.
    ‘I mean, sure, Iz and I have been having fun, but nothing serious.’
    Just at that moment, Iz scooted out of the kitchen toyell ‘Dinner’s up’, before racing back to a hissing wok and a crowded kitchen. A crowd I had no intention of mingling with until I’d inhaled this glass of Semillon.
    One glass turned into two, which turned into three and then four, and before long I was telling outrageous stories of wicked magazine women, much to the amusement of Dec and Iz’s largely alternative friendship circle.
    ‘And then, at the next function, she said, “Can you believe they only gave us Tiffany!” Like she was expecting Cartier or something!’ The table collapsed into laughter at my tale of petulance and greed. I hoped no one there knew anyone in beauty, or I was as good as dead.
    Iz stood up and started clearing the plates. ‘Well, guys. Now is the part where I kick all the drunks out. Which makes…oooh, all of you, I’d say.’
    ‘You included,’ piped up a blonde girl wearing a muted gold bikini under her grey marl hooded mini-dress as a kind of showing-but-not-showing gesture. Clearly she was not off to the beach, nor had she been there earlier, but I liked it. It was very representational of the group – slightly avant-garde, slightly bohemian, and terrifyingly cool.
Noted and appreciated, noted and appreciated.
    I began helping Iz clear the plates, and tried to hold three wine glasses using only one hand. Of course, one fell and smashed. Eight people screamed out ‘Taxi!’
    ‘Hannah, leave it, you’ll cut yourself. Dec! Can you bring out the dustbroom and shovel? Dustpan and…broom?’
    ‘Dustpan and shovel?’ I offered, as I bent down to pick up the broken pieces of glass.
    ‘Whatever it is! Can you please bring it and—’
    ‘Ow,
fuck
!’
    I looked down at my finger. Blood was gushing out at a volume that my intoxicated eyes couldn’t quite comprehend. I felt a surge of faintness wash through veins that were already struggling with the weight of several litres of alcohol.
    ‘Oh Han! You silly! I not you told to…I mean…I told you not to!’
    We both burst into giggles at her word jumbling, and I blinked a few times to get focus and properly assess the