Free Confessions of a teacher: Because school isn't quite what you remember it to be... by Jane Salomon Page B

in blizzard conditions and on a road totally unknown to me. I try to control the panic that is slowly rising from the depth of my stomach. It's a straight road, so all I need is an opportunity to turn back. After driving for what feels like hours, I come to a roundabout which will take me back towards the motorway. There is also a sign to the left which seems to indicate the general direction of the school. I need to make a prompt decision here. Do I follow the sign and hope to get to somewhere I recognise or do I just turn back? With a pang of guilt, I choose the second option. Why are schools so good at making you feel guilty for not having braved death to come to work? I really do not fancy getting lost in these conditions. The journey back home takes me four hours instead of the usual 40 minutes. I have no time to examine my feelings of guilt as driving in this requires all my concentration. I shouldn't have worried so much. When I finally make it home, safe but shaking, I phone the school and find out that it had to close anyway. I was one of the lucky ones. This day turned out to be the worst in the annals of Scottish traffic. Many people didn't make it home and cars were abandoned everywhere. The school remained closed over the next two days and we even got prior warning so we didn't have to attempt the journey. I love the snow!
     
     
    The final two weeks before the end of terms are always like giving birth. It's the painful final push when you have literally nothing left to give. Traditionally, the last week is spent babysitting more than anything else and showing kids videos to keep them entertained. This year however, the powers above have decreed that we should work right to the second last day. We know that this is going to cause a small revolution amongst the children. We're on the front line and have no energy left to fight back. Jack tells me that even the chimps have to work till Wednesday, despite the fact that it is their last day of French for this year. I'm quite furious about it and I tell him that it's on his head. I will make them work but he'll have to come in to tell them that this decision is his, not mine. He agrees to the deal. The chimps are dismayed when I start handing in books and jotters. They even start laughing, thinking it's a joke. Their faces say it all when I tell them that no, it's not a joke and yes, we have to work. Luckily, Jack walks in before they get a chance to lynch me with whatever comes their way. He tells them in no uncertain terms that it is his decision and anyone who doesn't agree can come and discuss it with him. Jonathan's hand shoots up: "Why do we have to work on the last week?". "What's the French for 'holidays'?", replies Jack. He is met by total silence despite the fact that we've been working on that topic for the last three weeks and they must have seen the word at least a hundred times. "My point exactly!" says Jack. "You're not working hard enough so you have to keep working now". They huff and puff but have realised that they're left with no choice in the matter. I'm convinced they feel like they've been outwitted somehow but they can't quite work out how. As soon as Jack leaves the room, an indignant Callum points out: "It's not fair. Some of us are working hard". To my surprise, this is said without the slightest hint of irony, despite the fact that the only reason Callum and I don't go head to head is because he spends the whole period with his own head cocked in his arms, sleeping instead of giving me grief. We have this tacit agreement (anything for peace!) that I will nudge him from time to time to do a bit of work before letting him go back to sleep. If that's Callum's idea of working hard, I would love to see what he does for relaxation! The period draws to an end and the Christmas break is in sight. Only a couple of days left to frantically make a start on the second year reports which are due the first week back.
     
     
    The last day of term has