Free You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults With Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo

ADDers. As of the writing of this second edition, you can still find that thread on add.about.com. You might want to go there to check out what others havesaid about paralysis of the will.
    Reaction Time Irregularity
    Our discussion of the fast-thinking brain may seem puzzling. You may be thinking, “That’s crazy! My brain moves with the speed of a glacier and it makes me feel pretty stupid.” This isanother of the ADD paradoxes. Your brain moves both very slowly and very rapidly, depending on the task.
    If an ADDer is free to direct his own thoughtsand actions, the rapid freewheeling aspect of his brain takes over. When he has to fit into someone else’s agenda either with words or actions, he finds it more difficult to function well. In other words, it’s easier to act than react . Reacting depends on the problematic input and output functions of an ADD brain. If you can rely on your ability to process information internally, you can oftentake swift and decisive action.
    Fluent self-expression is independent of the ability to respond to questions. A person with the gift of gab who ignores you when you ask direct questions, might not be rude or uninterested. He might simply have trouble retrieving things from memory in a demand situation.
    PR: “I have a particular gift for speaking and conduct workshops without missing a beat. WhenI get ready to share information with an audience, I become energized and focused. I thoroughly enjoy this work and am never at a loss for words. But informal gatherings are a totally different matter. Even in a group of friends, I often find myself groping for things to say in response to questions.
    “This baffling behavior confused me until I understood my ADD. Now it makes perfect sense. Iam in charge of my thoughts and the direction of my work during my conferences. I rely on the wealth of my knowledge and my excellent long-term memory to orchestrate these sessions. The question-and-answer period isn’t a problem either, because the focus is something I know well. But at the social gathering, I have to react and respond to conversation generated by other people. My brain often doesn’twork fast enough to find what I need to say. On the way home from these gatherings, I usually think of many things I could have said.”
    Clearly, most people function best when the task or subject is something they know well. You don’t have to have ADD to be at a loss for words. But ADDers seem to experience this phenomenon on a regular basis. It results from a significant imbalance in action andreaction capabilities.
    Connections to the world are generally slow and inefficient while internal connections work with lightning rapidity. Output can be difficult because the ADDer has to synchronize his mental speed with his slower output. An inability to respond quickly to requests seems to be stubborn or noncompliant behavior. In reality, these behaviors can be manifestations of irregularreaction capabilities. His mouth, brain and body just don’t cooperate very well in demand situations.
    As many of us struggle with mismatched input/output capabilities, we feel out of control. We live in a world of paradoxes, a world that seems to toss us about by inexplicable forces. Our need for control doesn’t come from a desire to be one up on others. It is often a desperate attempt to managea situation so we can function with a degree of competence. Otherwise, it’s so easy to look and feel stupid.
    ADD children may not work well in the group setting of a classroom but perform well with a tutor. An ADD adult can have difficulty working as a committee member yet perform admirably as the chairperson. He may stand around the kitchen of a friend preparing a dinner party, unable to figureout how to assist. But he may successfully orchestrate a social activity of his own design.
    These behaviors can make you feel lazy and bad about yourself. It’s important to remember that this is another piece of ADD. These