Free Billie Jo by Kimberley Chambers

eye.
'Oh come on, Tel, come back to bed and give me a cuddle.
I feel randy tonight and if you're lucky, I'll let you have
your wicked way with me.'
    Terry looked at his wife in disgust. They hadn't had sex
for at least nine months and he'd forgotten what she looked
like naked. She looked awful, that's what she looked like.
He knew he could never fuck her again. He wouldn't even
want to poke her with someone else's, let alone his own.
Deciding to sleep on the sofa, he headed downstairs to get
a bit of peace and quiet. Thankfully, his brother and the
lush were nowhere to be seen.
    'Happy fucking Christmas,' Terry said out loud. His
family were out-and-out nutters and he'd had a gutful of
the lot of them. Chelle, Bridie, his mother, it's as though
their aim in life was to do his head in. As for his brother
turning up with Frankenstein's monster, that'd been the
icing on the cake.
    Well, no more. Tomorrow he would take Billie out on
his lonesome, he would take her somewhere nice, somewhere
special. The rest of his not-right family could go
and fuck themselves.
    As Terry Keane went to sleep that night, he was positive
that he'd endured the worst of the festive season.
Unfortunately for him, the nightmare had only just begun.

SEVEN
    Terry was up with the larks the following morning. He
scrubbed the vomit-stained carpet, tidied the living room,
and cooked himself up a full English. He couldn't live in
shit, it gave him the right hump when the place looked
like a tip and he knew Chelle wouldn't do it. Housework
was not on top of the list of his wife's priorities. Normally
they had a cleaner who came in twice a week, but she
had gone away for Christmas and had cancelled until
the New Year.
    'That smells lovely, Dad, I'm starving. Will you make
me something please?' Rubbing her tired eyes, Billie
plonked herself onto a chair.
    Terry rustled up one of his specialities, handed it to
his daughter and sat down opposite her at the kitchen
table. 'I can't stand another day like yesterday, Princess.
How about we have a day out, just me and you, and not
come back until late tonight?'
    'I can't, Dad. I'm going round Tiffany's this afternoon.
I thought I told you. Her mum and dad are having a house
party tonight and I'm staying over. I'll come out with you
this morning though. I'll take my stuff I need for tonight
with me and you can drop me off round there about four.'
    Terry was disappointed; he hadn't expected Billie to
be busy. He wouldn't have minded if he could have seen
Jade but she was hundreds of miles away. His only other
option was to go out on the piss. Deciding to give Davey
Mullins a bell, Terry looked at Billie.
    'Chop, chop, then. Go and sort your gear out and we
can escape before anyone wakes up.'
    Terry spent the morning traipsing around the sales in
Romford. By lunchtime, he wanted to tear his hair out.
Dragging Billie out of Top Shop, he sat her down on a
nearby bench. 'I'm starving, Princess. I can't be walking
around no more shops. I'll make a deal with you. Me and
you'll go for something to eat and I'll give you five
hundred quid to go and spend on top of your Christmas
money. Take Tiff with you or someone. These crowds are
driving me mad, Bill. It's so fucking packed. The next
person that bumps into me, I swear I'm gonna up 'em.'
    Billie giggled. Her dad wasn't a great shopper at the
best of times. 'I don't want another five hundred quid.
You gave me more than enough for Christmas. Let's go
for a pizza, then you can drop me around at Tiff's.'
    'I want that pizza there,' Billie said, showing him the
menu. 'And can I have some garlic bread with cheese?'
    Terry ordered their food and smiled at her. 'Well, you've
got enough bags. Best show your old dad what you
bought.'
    Billie happily obliged by showing him every purchase
and explaining the before and after prices to him. 'They're
such bargains, aren't they? Especially that bag you bought
me,' she said excitedly.
    Terry smiled to himself as their lunch arrived. Billie
Jo had