Free Troubles and Treats by Tara Sivec Page B

skirt women starts to tell her story about
     her husband playing a trick on her.  When she had asked him to get her a glass of
     grape juice, he had handed her a glass of prune juice instead.
    “Oh my fu-fart!” Drew states loudly as everyone around us laughs.
    It’s been a challenge trying to curb our language throughout the night.  At least
     Drew is managing to catch himself before he lets something awful fly out of his mouth.
    “That’s not embarrassing. That’s just sad,” Drew whispers.  “You realize that every
     single one of our embarrassing stories ends with one of us naked, right?”
    Thankfully, halfway around the circle, people start running out of stories to tell,
     and I don’t have to try and find a way to clean up the story about how we experimented
     with popsicles and chocolate sauce and had to use a blow dryer to unfreeze the popsicle
     from the inside of Drew’s thigh.
    “So, how did you two meet?” one of the men asks as everyone turns their attention
     to Drew and I.
    I look over at Drew in a panic and wonder how I’m going to explain to these God-fearing
     people that we met after a sex toy party.
    “Um, well…we, um have these friends.  And they have a store that sells…um, Tupperware,”
     I flounder.  “We met after one of their Tupperware parties.”
    Everyone smiles and nods and Drew starts to giggle.
    “Yeah, they have GREAT Tupperware.  Every shape and size you can imagine.  Jenny likes
     the great big Tupperware,” he says with a snort.
    “Ooooh I love Tupperware too!” one of the women states excitedly.  “I use it every
     single day.  It really is a life saver.”
    I just smile and nod, trying to mentally telephone to Drew that he needs to shut up.
    “Do you like to use the gigantor Tupperware or the teeny tiny Tupperware?” Drew questions
     seriously.
    “I like to use both at the same time,” another woman pipes up.
    “Yeah you do!” Drew smiles and nods, giving her a wink.
    “My husband takes Tupperware to work and everyone is always asking him if Tupperware
     is better than GladWare .  I tell them that Tupperware can fit in all sorts of places and can be used for
     your pets,” someone else says.
    “Wow, that’s disturbing.  But good for you,” Drew says.
    “ GladWare is the poor man’s Tupperware, that’s what I always say,” one of the men pipes up.
    “Amen brother!” Drew shouts.
    A chorus of “Amen’s” is muttered all around the circle and I have to cover my face
     with my hands because I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
    “Tupperware really has saved our marriage,” one of the women says with a laugh.  “Before
     I filled my pantry with Tupperware, Steve was using Zip Lock bags and his stuff was
     just spilling everywhere.  He made such a mess!”
    “Ha ha. Oh, Steve!  Look at you spilling your stuff everywhere. You’re so bad!” Drew
     tells the guy sitting on the other side of him.
    “I went to a Tupperware party once where everyone was passing around the different
     sizes and then they sold those at the end of the party.  It seemed very unsanitary
     to me.  Everyone touching the Tupperware and putting their hands all over it and then
     you were supposed to just take it home and use it?” another woman states with a look
     of disgust on her face.
    “Oh, they make a special cleaner for that,” Drew tells them.
    “Hey, I have an idea,” Steve, the “stuff spiller” says.  “Drew seems like a good sport. 
     I bet he would love to play The Great Swami game.”
    The circle erupts into laughter and nods of approval.  Everyone starts rearranging
     chairs so there are two in the middle of the circle, facing each other.
    “The Great Swami game, you say?  I’ve never heard of it,” Drew tells them.
    “Oh, it’s great fun!  You have to try and do everything The Great Swami does.  So
     far, no one has been able to beat him,” Steve says excitedly.
    One of the other men takes a seat in one of the chairs in