Free Troubles and Treats by Tara Sivec

her head all around.  “OHHHHHHHHHH, OOOOOOOOOH!”
    I lie perfectly still wondering what the fuck is going on as she starts slapping her
     hands against my bare chest and continues to flop her head all over the place, her
     long hair smacking me in the face as she works out the longest orgasm in the history
     of orgasms.
    “YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!  OHHHHHHHHH YES YES YES!”
    I’m completely amazed that she’s still going strong.  My penis has already started
     to go soft and her vagina isn’t even touching it right now.  She’s just humping air.
    “YES!  YES!  DON’T STOP!  OOOOOOOOOH YES!”
    Don’t stop what exactly?  Don’t stop lying here wondering how this is happening right
     now?
    She finally ceases all movement and collapses on top of me, breathing heavy and sighing
     in contentment.
    Within seconds she’s up and off of me and standing next to the bed.  She leans down
     and kisses my cheek.  “That was amazing.  I’m going to go check on the kids.”
    She walks out of the room, and I’m left in bed with a shirt torn in half, naked from
     the waist down,  my wilted cock resting against my thigh, and twenty Barbie heads
     silently judging me when I hear her shout from across the hall.
    “What the hell happened to Veronica’s hair?!”

Chapter 8 – The Great Swami
     
    It’s been two weeks since I attempted the “fake it till you make it” with Drew and
     I think it was a total success.  He knows I still want him and that got me off the
     hook for a little while to try and get my libido back in shape.  I had a little bit
     of doubt that my performance wasn’t good enough and that Drew suspected I had been
     faking that day, but after a little pep talk to myself, I knew I was a golden shower.
     
    I had made Liz play that scene from When Harry Met Sally seven times and then Claire made me act out the scene to make sure I got it right.
    “Don’t keep your eyes open. You’re totally giving it away by staring straight ahead
     looking bored,” Claire stated.
    I tipped my head back, closed my eyes, and started moaning loudly.
    “How’s this?”
    “You sound like a dying cat.  A dying cat that’s trying to catch snowflakes.  Put
     your tongue away and close your mouth,” Liz scolded.
    “Really get into it.  Picture someone telling you that tonight, you will sleep twelve
     hours straight without any interruptions,” Claire instructed.
    I screamed in ecstasy and shout words I didn’t even know how to pronounce.
    “Wow, you nailed that one,” Liz said in awe.
    “Yeah, I guess we found your sweet spot.  Just imagine you’re asleep when you’re banging
     Drew,” Claire said with a laugh.
    “Hey, before we had Billy, our sex life was very exciting and I never would have needed
     to think about sleep.  We were even finalists in a porn home movie contest.  The contest
     required us to use four props.  Two living things, one gas operated power tool, and
     jumper cables,” I told them.
    “You really need to stop sharing things like this with us,” Liz complained.  “But
     seriously.  Do it exactly how you just did and it will be perfect.”
     
    It had been perfect, if I do say so myself.  I don’t get why Drew is still acting weird
     though.  You would think that since he got off he would be in a better mood.  I mean,
     he came without even having sex.  That’s got to be a good thing.  And since he thinks
     he got me off too, he should be feeling pretty good about himself.  But he’s been
     moody and sad and hasn’t even made any comments about bending me over the table in
     days.  Something definitely isn’t right with him.
    Our neighbors call to invite us over for a cook-out this evening, and I take them up on their offer.  In
     the few years we’ve lived in this house, we’ve never done anything with our neighbors. 
     They are a very strict, religious couple, and we obviously aren’t. 
    Before I had got pregnant with Billy, Liz hosted a sex toy