Free I Surrender by Monica James Page B

not saying that. It’s just… different. Do you like him?” V corrects herself quickly.
    “Like him? I hardly know him.”
    “Well from what you do know about him, do you think you could like him?” V probes, up to no good as usual.
    “V there is no way I will be pursuing a relationship with Jasper or anyone else for that matter for a very long time. I admit I find Jasper…interesting but we’re just friends.”
    “Yeah for now.” V laughs while gobbling up her breakfast.
    “Oh Veronica shut it. Look I find Jasper attractive and he is right there is some chemistry between us but it’s purely of a friendly nature.” My reply feels false, like I am lying to her and also to myself. I choose to ignore the reasoning behind those feelings.
    V is quiet, which is never a good sign. Before she can interrogate me further, I steal her coffee and head upstairs to work on getting my life back on track.

    *****

    I have cleaned my room, straightening everything; twice. I cannot put off the unavoidable any longer; I have to start on my CV. Actually sitting down and penning onto paper my life failures is a depressing thought, hence the procrastination. I never thought I would be sitting here writing my CV without a Diploma to add to my credentials. When did my life become so backward?
    I finally succumb and make a start on getting my life back. Things are going well until I am glaring at the heading ‘EDUCATION.’ It may as well be screaming at me in big, bold letters that I am a failure. I exhale a frustrated sigh, when will this feeling go away? The ache I felt when I first returned is slowly fading bit by bit but I still feel unsettled. I want to establish myself again without being so afraid of living my life without Harper.
    Giving up I head downstairs to make myself some lunch. I open the fridge and am taken aback by all the bright colors of the produce inside and I suddenly feel inspired to create a meal. This is the first time in a long time I have felt motivated to cook and that gives me hope that things might actually be okay.
    I am finely slicing my seared tuna to accompany my Salad Nicoise, my mind at complete peace. This is why I decided to pursue a career in the culinary world. I always feel at home in the kitchen and whenever I have a bad day, I create my best dishes. Judging by the colorful creation I just produced, my day totally sucks.
    With Florence and the Machine, ‘Dog Days are over’ blaring over my speakers I can’t help but relate to the lyrics. I am singing very loudly and off-key, shaking my booty embarrassingly around the room freely. I don’t know if it’s getting back into the kitchen or the song striking a chord with me but whatever it is, I feel alive.
    I am clapping away with enthusiasm and am half way through butchering the chorus when I hear another voice singing along huskily with me. This voice unlike mine has rhythm and heats me from the inside out. This voice belongs to a male currently sitting in my kitchen. And that male is Jasper. I spin around surprised and totally mortified he witnessed me wailing and shuffling around the kitchen like a lunatic. I feel my cheeks redden to match the color of the tomatoes sitting in front of me ready for slicing.
    He is toying with his bottom lip, and his smoldering eyes are exploring me from head to toe. I redden even further under his examination. I was not expecting company and am currently in my short jean shorts and stripy red and white cut-off shirt that stops above my navel. My long brown hair is piled messily into a lose ponytail, and due to my uncoordinated boogying most of it has come undone. I am barefoot. Peering down I thank the heavens my toenails are still painted a devilish red. I am wearing my silver toe ring and anklet, but apart from that I have on no other jewelry. Luckily I am wearing a little foundation and mascara but I still look a mess. I disregard my appearance and wonder why Jasper is sitting in my kitchen. How did he