Free Duty and Devotion by Tere Michaels

deep breath. “You mean I can't just yell at him until he stops making me crazy?”
    “No.”
    “That sucks.”
    “Come on, Haight—you're better than that now. No yelling or picking fights around the issue. You have to confront it head-on.”
    “I try. He says labels don't matter, and it's no one's business and that's that.” Matt toe tapped a small pile of Legos, making them shake and quiver. “Which is true, but it's also not true.”
    “True.”
    “Are you this sarcastic with other patients?”
    “You mean the ones that pay?”
    “I've turned into his wife,” Matt added, throwing his mental burdens out one by one. “Or he's trying to turn me into her.”
    Liz frowned a bit at that. “What do you mean?”
    Matt shook his head. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was going overboard with this. Maybe the whole sex thing during the beach weekend was making him crazier than it should. “I don't know. I feel like I—took her spot. I take care of the kids, I take care of the details and he works, and it's like she never died.”
    “I'm guessing that's a bit of an exaggeration. I don't believe Evan mistakes you for Sherri.”
    “He'd rather she was here than me.” There. He'd said it. Aloud even.
    “Evan didn't get a divorce. His wife died—tragically young. Yes, you're going to feel like a replacement. In some very tangible ways, you are. In other ways you are a unique force in Evan's life.” She paused and made a little “hmmmm” sound in the back of her throat. “Maybe you just want him to recognize that.”
    He opened and shut his mouth, teeth clicking audibly.
    “I know you know these things. And I know you can connect the dots between them,” she said gently.
    Matt moaned as all the pieces of their arguments clicked into place into his head. Being gay meant being different than Sherri, and it was something that was his and his alone with Evan, and there needed to be things about them that weren't just re-creations of Evan's old life. And God, he really hated Liz sometimes.
    “I kind of hate you,” he sighed, and Liz clapped her hands.
    “Painful truths and eyes opened to inner clarity—that's what I bring to the table, Haight. You knew that, and that's why you came here. Now friend Liz will take you into the kitchen and feed you apple cake with some sympathetic back patting thrown in.”
    “I like sympathetic back patting.”
    In Liz's huge kitchen, Matt found his familiar place at her island with coffee and the aforementioned apple cake. She even took sympathy on his hangdog expression and offered whipped cream.
    “Evan's jealous of Jim,” he announced, licking apple crumbs off his fork.
    “One-night-stand Jim?” she asked.
    “My friend Jim,” he corrected. “Stop making it sound sleazy.”
    “Oh, sorry.” Liz coughed into her hand. “I forgot your delicate sensibilities.”
    “Just because I used to be a man-whore doesn't mean I can't have delicate sensibilities about some things.”
    “Point.” Liz considered Matt over the top of her mug. “Does Evan bring Jim up a lot?”
    “Yes. At ridiculous times—not when I've talked to him on the phone. No, he brings him up when we're…” Matt gestured. “You know.”
    “Evan brings up Jim in bed?”
    “Yesss.”
    “That makes sense.”
    “It's gross.”
    “Jim is his rival in bed. He's not used to that.”
    “Jim isn't his rival in anything. Jim is some guy I slept with once and who lives three thousand miles away and who I talk to on the phone.” Matt could see where this was going, and he was putting his stubborn hat on. Evan had nothing to fear from Jim—nothing.
    “Jim is the only other guy you've slept with, which makes you one up on Evan sexually—and when you add on all your other women and compare to Evan's only sexual experience besides you being his wife…” Liz rolled her eyes. “Come on, this is Soap Opera 101 here, Haight.”
    “I may be a househusband, but I don't watch soaps.” Matt sniffed. He reached over